Just curious, because while 3 kids was for us always part of the plan, 4 never was. But because we're having girl number 3 we're now *maybe* open to having a 4th, but that would ONLY be specifically to have a son, either HT or adoption. I really don't know if I want 4 kids though, in fact I'm about 90% sure I don't... so I am praying with all I've got that my GD will heal and I can be happy with the 2 (soon to be 3) lovely little ladies I'm blessed with.
So, I know there are several on here with 2-3+ same gender who are swaying, and I'm curious to know if you're having another specifically for the hope of that gender? Or do you really want another child? I ask partially because I have to keep reminding myself that I DID want THREE. I have many days where I regret getting pregnant again, and then DH reminds me that three was the plan, and there was no way we weren't going to have three kids; if we had 2 DS or a PP I would have still wanted 3, and with 2 DD I think I wanted 3 even more just bc of the unsatisfied hope for a DS. Just so happened they all turned out to be DDs![]()
And separately, if you got your DG, did you heal from GD? I just wonder if even if I had a son after 3 daughters if part of me still would be bitter that I had to have 4 kids to get him, and go to such lengths (neither HT nor adoption are easy roads, whereas we get pg very easily) to have him.
Results 1 to 10 of 54
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October 25th, 2011, 08:16 PM #1Dream Vet
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Will you keep going til you get your DG??
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October 25th, 2011, 08:40 PM #2Dreamer
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I have 2 DS' and am 37. I didn't really want to have 3 children at this age but desperately want a daughter. I have come to terms with the idea of having 3 boys, and am swaying hard for a girl. This is absolutely the very last one, no if ands or buts about it. DH had to be convinced to give it this last shot so I know there is absolutely no way he would go for a 4th and to be honest I don't think I could handle it either. My thought is if I do everything in my power to try to influence gender and I do have another DS I will have to be ok with it and know that I tried my best. I wish I had started younger because I always wanted a big family.
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October 25th, 2011, 08:57 PM #3
I only had 4 to get DS. I don't have issues with gender disappointment so I can't speak to that. I mean, I was sad when they weren't boys but I wouldn't change a thing now.
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October 25th, 2011, 09:26 PM #4Dream Vet
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October 25th, 2011, 09:31 PM #5Dream Vet
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I can see that side of it ... I sure wouldn't trade either of my DD's for a DS, yes I'm disappointed not to have a son but I'm glad I have them. I told DH yesterday I'd have such envy if I had a friend and these girls were hers, I think my girls totally rock.
I'm just going to have to wait and see if we can make it to 4 kids. I only have one close friend with 4 (and sadly her youngest passed away this year) but I remember after she had him, I had just had DD1, and she said the hardest thing about 4 was she finally had to cave and get the minivanBut she also grew up as one of four so it just seemed natural to her. To DH and myself, coming from PP, it seems like crazy talk to have more than 3!
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October 25th, 2011, 09:41 PM #6
4 young children is not easy. No minivan though. Big SUV for me! Can't do the van. I think if you can do HT and you KNOW #4 will be a boy, it totally changes things. Right now, I don't think you can try naturally if what you want is a boy and not another baby. You have to know that that is OKAY. It IS okay to say that and own it. I did. I totally see myself in you. You get one shot at life and if you want his and you are spirtually and financially able to go HT, I would go for it.
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October 25th, 2011, 09:54 PM #7
I think either way I want a 6th anyway! If it is a boy, I will want to sway to give him a brother lol if it is another girl I would be tempted to try again I won't lie about that lol
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October 25th, 2011, 09:54 PM #8
But, hubby said this is it
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October 25th, 2011, 10:57 PM #9
Well, to be honest, if DS3 had been a girl, my hubby would have said "No More!". So 3 would have been it. I think I would have been ok with it even though I like even numbers
Just a quick blurb about when I found I was going to have 3 sons... When DS3 was born, I took a few minutes to look to see what we had. When I checked, I looked up with a smile and said "it's a boy!". My hubby kinda laughed and said,"I'm sorry Mama".This is recorded on his birth video
I watch it and feel so awful that one day he'll hear that. My hubby wasn't upset at all but he knew I would be
I just want to say, I know what it's like to have a hole in your heart. I have felt this way since DS1 at 20w pregnant. ((hugs))
It took a long time for me to figure out if I wanted a fourth, could handle having another child, whether or not we could afford it, where he/she would sleep.....I wanted one more chance. My hubby was not on board at all at first. We don't know anyone with 4 kids other than a Mormon family that lives near us. I felt overwhelmed when I got pregnant...almost like I'd made a mistake. This is where it changes- when I saw those scans, it was as if everything had happened for a reasonI love each of my sons so much and I'm so glad DS3 pushed his way down first because it makes me tear up thinking that he might not be here if "she" had come down first. Three years ago, I would have said 2 kids for us. And then it was 3.... And well, you see how that plan changed
Life plans always change...rules are made to be broken... your heart aches for a boy...go for it. I say go the HT route. I honestly feel like the hole in my heart has been filled
If my hubby would have agreed to HT, we would have gone that route. I feel so incredibly lucky right now. 4 kids will be tough but I'm so happy that we tried one more time
Crunchy Mama to 3 rambunctious boys~'06 :bike: '08
'10
Our beautifulis here!!
Felina Lilyanne was born at home ~ 4/12!
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October 26th, 2011, 12:45 AM #10