Please help me decide!

[jennibel]

Hi ladies

I haven't been on here much lately. I have been plotting, scheming and planning my sway for months now and the time to start ttc is fast approaching (we are starting to ttc in April!). I started supps in Jan and have gradually been changing my diet and will be much stricter as ttc approaches. I am pretty much doing FGD. We are going for a 3 day cut off, using refresh, have lots of things in the house to help with ions, have got a baby girl fertility spell, hubby is doing quite a bit to help out (cranberry juice, minimal weights at gym and cycling instead, reduced caffeine, tight pants, hot showers etc) - loads of bits and bobs.

But I am still really not sure on one thing - abstinence or frequent. With both my boys we dtd every other day over OV. We dont have a particularly high sex drive so abstinence not a prob and we are both 28/29 so age not a worry. Frequent could be more of a challenge for us but hubby says he is willing to do anything to help. I asked tonight and he said he would be willing to release everyday for about 7 days plus morning of our bd. This is definately more of a challenge than abstinence would be. I just dont know which to do. Does one have a higher success rate over the other? I think abstinence is favoured on IG but I have recently seen lots of successful sways with frequent? I am just concerned over raised testosterone with frequent. And I have bought licorice root and was thinking that DH taking that and then having to do frequent may not be realistic? ARGGH its so hard to decide! Any advice?

x

[Princess of Pink]

I think BDing every day from AF straight though O and beyond works. Really decreases sperm count and got me 2 of my daughters.

[rainbowflower]

if you're not having a big O when you DTD (and if you're not really enjoying it) I wouldn't worry about raising T levels
you could also do FR but without the daily DTD - a release is good enough some days!

[prayforprincess]

Agree with Rainbow- You can dtd daily and use a condom until your attempt/attempts because the ph of his sperm might raise your ph -- though you are using rephresh. I'd still use a condom or have him help himself.

You could do abstain too. Either or reduces sperm count, I might try abstaining for the 1st month and see how that goes. If you don't get a bfp then switch to fr the following month.

Just a question: Why are you trying for a 3 cut off? B & G sperm live just as long.
If I were doing one attempt with a slight cut off I would make it closer to o day to raise your chances of getting pg. At least o-2 or +opk. Timing does not matter at all & especially cause you are douching and lowering his sperm count...just a thought.

[zanacal]

At your age in your situation I would probably have DH take the LR and go with abstinence - but I wouldn't expect to get pregnant with a 3 day cut-off and if I were only going to have one attempt then I'd have it on the day of my first +OPK. I would also give abstinence a couple of goes but switch to FR if not getting pregnant.

[jennibel]

Thanks girls! Zanacal thats what I was thinking of doing - seeing how abstinence went then if dont get pg maybe try frequent. I dont suppose there are any studies which show which lowers sperm count more are there? Regarding cut off I think its just because I am super scared of going near OV to be honest. Every single person I have met and asked has got a girl through cut off and because I conceived my boys on OV it just freaks me out going near OV. We are in no rush to conceive so I dont mind if it takes a couple of months. I know timing is the least important factor but I am just worried that if we went nearer OV and I had a boy I would forever blame that. I dont know though, its so hard knowing what the right thing is to do...

[zanacal]

You probably got your boy because you were DTD every other day (perfect sperm boosting boy timing!) and possibly eating a boy friendly diet too? I conceived my girl DTD once on O day - so that's not every single person you met now

[jennibel]

True lol!! Yes, my 'normal' diet is VERY boy friendly!! I suppose I am just worried about messing up in some way. Perhaps I need to look at more sways where DDs were conceived on OV and stop focusing on the cut off ones

[rainbowflower]

Jenn:

here's a study testing abstinence over varying number of days: Within-subject variability of human semen in regard to sperm count, volume, total number of spermatozoa and length of abstinence
and another testing frequent release (at 8hr intervals): Human sperm characteristics during frequent ejaculation

unfortunately there aren't any that test both that I've found

[prayforprincess]

jennibel - I was just like you...did not want to dtd on o day. And yes, a lot of people I know say they had a cut off, but do they really know?? Probably not, they know the shettle's method and b/c they had a girl they presume it was a few days before. But most women do not precisely track their ovulation when trying to get pg -- unless they are us Even we, who live and breathe tracking o sometimes cannot exactly pinpoint it. So no offense but many ladies don't truly know the timing of their conception at all. Plus, I know a great many women who dtd right through o and got a girl. Infact my best gf has 3 girls and always dtd around when she "thought" she would be o-ing cause she just wanted to get pg. Anotehr women I met at a party had 5 girls and said she did the same thing -- dtd when she believed she was o'ing and had all girls. And for every women you meet that says she had a girl with a cut off, there is another that has a shettle's opposite, because it doesn't matter. Timing doesn't matter.
And like Zan said, it was other things that cause you to have a boy, not when you dtd. Like AS says (u should read her essay on timing), timing has been the most studied method of gender selection and in over 30 years, nothing has been proven --shettles has been disproven over and over. In all this time if there was something to it, then it would have been found out by now.
I am not trying to change your plan - you have to do what feels right to you. But with one attempt and such a far cut off after killing so many sperm through douches' abstaining, supp's etc. getting bfn's months in a row gets upsetting no matter how much you don't think you care how long it takes.
Sorry, I just know I was in your place a little while back and held in my head things that just were not true. And now I am focusing on what is really true and proven to get me my girl, like diet!! Maternal condition is your greatest sway factor and most likely what will ultimately determine whether you conceive a girl or boy.