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May 21st, 2016, 05:39 PM
#61
So sorry your husband has shared such heavy news at such an inopportune time. It's hard to remember that husbands are also hurting and emotionally labile at times like this. I agree that taking a short break from future planning is wise and giving you both time to heal. Maybe in a short time you will both be on the same page and stronger together.
for you. Try to be patient but set boundaries with him as well. It's not fair to be taking things off the table without considering your feeling and desires, much less at this very vunerable time. Hopefully he realizes that soon.
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May 22nd, 2016, 10:41 AM
#62
It seems a lot of men really don't understand what we go through, they think of themselves first. So sorry
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May 25th, 2016, 10:46 PM
#63
Dreamer
I'm sorry this is happening to you. In Jan I lost twins and was in the same boat since DH had reluctantly agreed to let me have a 4th and I ended up BFP with twins. Right after the D&C for mmc two days later I got infection and ended up in the hospital. DH freaked and told me he didn't want to try again and that if we did we would prob end up divorced. Few weeks later he started trying again with me. It's a tough time just give yourself and him some time to grieve.
DSS #1
(2006)
DS #2
(2007)
DS #3
(2009)
(April 2012 @7weeks)
(July 2015 @7weeks)
(Jan 2016 @9weeks, identical twins)
Ttcing in 2016. Praying for a little
to complete this household of boys!! But another boy would be loved!
My FF Ovulation Chart
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May 25th, 2016, 10:50 PM
#64
I'm so sorry for your loss. In my experience men just process things so differently to us, you should seek comfort in your friends.
I know it's hard but try to focus on emotionally healing from the miscarriage and forget about whether or not you will try again. That's a conversation for another day not when you are dealing with this
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May 26th, 2016, 02:06 AM
#65
Dream Vet
Originally Posted by
signingmommyfor3
I'm sorry this is happening to you. In Jan I lost twins and was in the same boat since DH had reluctantly agreed to let me have a 4th and I ended up BFP with twins. Right after the D&C for mmc two days later I got infection and ended up in the hospital. DH freaked and told me he didn't want to try again and that if we did we would prob end up divorced. Few weeks later he started trying again with me. It's a tough time just give yourself and him some time to grieve.
I'm so sorry this happened to you as well. How far along were you? I spoke to hubby last night and he said that he is really worried we will have twins again if we TTC naturally. He definitely doesn't want 5 children (and neither do I really), except I'm not worried about twins again as I'd think the chances were fairly low. I'm happy to go HT to ensure no twins and also ensure we get a girl, but he is very reluctant because of the cost and effort it will take. So I'm not sure where I stand anymore. I feel like going on the LE diet again and just getting my ducks in a row because I want to act quickly if he changes his mind. I'm nowhere near ready to TTC again anyway, emotionally I'm still all over the shop and I've been off the LE diet for at least 8 or so weeks so I'm not in a rush for him to make up his mind. I actually think he will agree to TTC again, I think I just need to give him a break from talking/thinking about it.
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2010
2013
2014
We would love another
to complete our beautiful family
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May 26th, 2016, 03:32 AM
#66
I am so sorry you are struggling with DH. I am sure he will chance his mind. Just give him time and try not to become enemies but relax, listen to him and show him love. Sometimes when we are tired, sad or upset we say things we don't mean. I am sure he will change his mind and follow your baby-dream if you give him some time to think it over.
DS1 (9) ❤️ DS2 (8) DS3 (5) ❤️ DW (41) DH (38) TTC'ing pink from May 2016
3 beautiful
& now pregnant with a baby girl due June 2017
Thank you everyone in this site and in particular Atomic for amazing support during
my sway. I am for ever grateful.
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May 26th, 2016, 06:41 PM
#67
Dreamer
Originally Posted by
familymatters
I'm so sorry this happened to you as well. How far along were you? I spoke to hubby last night and he said that he is really worried we will have twins again if we TTC naturally. He definitely doesn't want 5 children (and neither do I really), except I'm not worried about twins again as I'd think the chances were fairly low. I'm happy to go HT to ensure no twins and also ensure we get a girl, but he is very reluctant because of the cost and effort it will take. So I'm not sure where I stand anymore. I feel like going on the LE diet again and just getting my ducks in a row because I want to act quickly if he changes his mind. I'm nowhere near ready to TTC again anyway, emotionally I'm still all over the shop and I've been off the LE diet for at least 8 or so weeks so I'm not in a rush for him to make up his mind. I actually think he will agree to TTC again, I think I just need to give him a break from talking/thinking about it.
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I was almost 10 weeks when had the D&C but babies never even got a heartbeat
DSS #1
(2006)
DS #2
(2007)
DS #3
(2009)
(April 2012 @7weeks)
(July 2015 @7weeks)
(Jan 2016 @9weeks, identical twins)
Ttcing in 2016. Praying for a little
to complete this household of boys!! But another boy would be loved!
My FF Ovulation Chart
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May 27th, 2016, 01:40 PM
#68
Moderator
Oh no fm I am so sorry. How heartbreaking. I hope your DH comes around...
Sept 2008 & successful boy sway
June 2010.
M/C Oct 2012
Is DE in my future?
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May 27th, 2016, 01:48 PM
#69
Swaying Advice Coach
I'm sorry - I don't have any other advice other than give it time.
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May 27th, 2016, 02:37 PM
#70
Moderator
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Bump
Not sure where to ask not TTC