I think I have hit a low =(

[TTC5]

That or I am pre menstrual

I'm beginning to feel as though perhaps I am not worthy of having a son? And worry that, what if, I CANT have sons because maybe I carry some awful gene that makes them sick/disability of some kind.

8 years ago we we found out my pregnancy was a twin pregnancy fraternal G/B but miscarried the boy early on Have since gone on to have 2 more girls and a miscarriage inbetween that too.

Am I being selfish by "wanting" a son? And doing all these crazy things? Am I wasting all my time and energy in to this swaying? What if I just can't have boys or am not "allowed" to?

Ughhh please tell me I am not the only one who has felt like this at some stage or another? I think I am just hormonal right now...

[lindi]

You are not the only one! I felt that way about not being able to have a girl. Atomic wrote a great essay about this.

[3Pink1Blue]

I think we've all felt the same at one time or another. I've lost 2 pregnancies between my girls and have often wondered if those were my sons. I have gone through fazes of thinking I'm being karmically punished for hating gb families or for just wanting it so much. Don't worry, stay focused and everything will be fine

[sixhappysons]

I could have written this post. I always think I'm not worthy of having a DD. I've had several mc's and was always convinced they was my DD.
I even did surrogacy last year to try to "earn" my daughter. I'm now 11 weeks pregnant with dc7 so time will tell if it's finally my turn.
Just wanted you to know you're not alone feeling like this. (((hugs)))

[Chunksta]

Yes, i feel the same, and i also had a miscarriage between my 2 DD's..... All we can do is pray and hope
XOX

[Daisynyc]

Oh TTC5 - of course you are worthy! It's hard not to have these kinds of thoughts. I have wondered if I am not "cut out" for a girl (we have two boys) myself, or wondered if there are some of us biologically "wired" to have one or the other.

One of the negatives of swaying, IMO, is it gives further weight to our belief that a child's gender is determined largely by us - our biology or chemistry or whatever. Even though there may be truth in some of that (which is why we all try to sway), the plain fact of the matter is that the largest element here is chance. There is no rhyme or reason and it doesn't mean that you are undeserving in any way.

It's natural to feel frustrated or to long for the other gender - nothing selfish there. Don't beat yourself up.

[nuthinbutpink]

I am sorry you feel that way but you are definitely worthy!

[TTC5]

Thanks for the kind words, it is so nice to have a place to come, full of understanding women xoxoxox

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh TTC5 - of course you are worthy! It's hard not to have these kinds of thoughts. I have wondered if I am not "cut out" for a girl (we have two boys) myself, or wondered if there are some of us biologically "wired" to have one or the other.

One of the negatives of swaying, IMO, is it gives further weight to our belief that a child's gender is determined largely by us - our biology or chemistry or whatever. Even though there may be truth in some of that (which is why we all try to sway), the plain fact of the matter is that the largest element here is chance. There is no rhyme or reason and it doesn't mean that you are undeserving in any way.

It's natural to feel frustrated or to long for the other gender - nothing selfish there. Don't beat yourself up.

I totally agree! But I will go to my grave believing that aside from a very tiny handful of people with very rare genetic disorders, ALL of us are capable of having both boys and girls. If you look at a very large fam. like the Duggars, they have 3 girls in a row, and then a very long run of boys, and now a run of girls again. Any one of us on here would have 3-4-5 of the same gender and feel like we are "destined" or "biologically determined" to have only one gender but the Duggars have switched up genders 3 times now!

My great-grandma had 6 girls in a row and then 2 boys, and my husband's grandma had 5 boys and then finally a girl. There is a family on the internet with 14 children (someone out there, help me think of their name!) and only ONE of them is a girl!!!! Any one of us who wanted to "Duggar-it-out" would eventually have an opposite. All swaying is, is an attempt to make that body chemistry change happen sooner rather than later.

Hang in there, it WILL happen for you!!!

[TTC5]

Thanks xxx