blue swayers why???

[cosmosis]

I really think it is due to the pressure of passing on the father's name. Girl swayers don't have that concern as majority of them already have an army of boys.

[2pinkbluenext]

I really think it is due to the pressure of passing on the father's name. Girl swayers don't have that concern as majority of them already have an army of boys.

True. I strongly believe this too. Its a difficult thing for many to say. They feel the pressure alot more than men.

[meoab]

I like this and it's a sensitive topic for many among us. I myself have a gorgeous daughter who is almost 14 months. When I got pregnant (which was not plannend) I started worrying about gender. I have never thought once about it before I got pregnant. How come I was suddenly thinking about a baby boy, wprrying and stressing whenever we had a scan, even paid for a private hospital to do a scan and did not believe the gynae when I was told a girl? You could see the dissapointment on my face. Oh boy how freaking sad I became for months and how many times I have cried before and after birth. It's the environment and the pressure within cultures. It is also the personal experience. I didn't know how to raise a girl or protect her, don't know how to handle heartbreaks, how to prepare her for this world with people who are out there harming others. The other thing that made me feel the pressure of having a boy is the 'oh doesnt matter, next one will be a boy. Boy or girl, they are the same. As long as the baby is healty etc etc'. well if health is so important, why on hell would you say that my next will be a boy? I seriously felt down and felt like I had to defend myself and my husband for having a beautiful daughter who is so precious to us.

It is the environmental pressure mostly..be it culture or sub-culture. We all have felt it once or twice.

[atomic sagebrush]

Several more new blue swayers have shown up and again, virtually all of them are swaying very soon after their baby is born. Here's another. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/new-...er-mirena.html

Newbies, if you see this post I'd love your reasoning as to why you're in such a rush to TTC again.

[ChezIBY]

Several more new blue swayers have shown up and again, virtually all of them are swaying very soon after their baby is born. Here's another. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/new-...er-mirena.html

Newbies, if you see this post I'd love your reasoning as to why you're in such a rush to TTC again.

OK, time to weigh in with my two cents after being directed to this thread by Atomic and reading it through.

Sorry for the ladies who are feeling cultural/family/society pressure to produce a certain gender Don't think I have been subject to this, but there might be a bit of an environmental pressure about producing different gender kids that weighed in for me (maybe not conscious, but you see it everywhere here in the media, EVERY advertisement or commercial featuring a family has smiley Mom and Dad and PP!!)

So yes, for me it's the challenge, the 'chase', as if I feel I must prove something to myself. Have always been this way, like in college when some professor was talking about some extra-curricular activity, and going 'You guys only do this after a few months once you're sure you can handle it on top of the classwork, kay, cause it's really a lot to ask--' and I was already rolling my sleeves up like 'RIIIGHT, where do we sign up?' Same at work, same in hobbies, same everywhere, I always have to compete, even more with myself than with anyone, and 'prove' that I can do anything.

I get this huge surge of energy when a challenge is involved, and swear I must actually get more pleasure from 'figthing' for it than from the actual achievement when it does roll round; in fact, most victories get stale very fast and then it's on to the next thing. (So if I do sway and don't get the desired result, I will probably bully DH into having six more kids till I do; if I get the desired result fast I will probably next set myself the challenge of teaching my kids to speak five languages, play the piano and the guitar, skate and code before they are three or something.)

The intensity of this feeling of competition is obvious to me from the fact that as soon as I read Atomic's explanation that she kindly posted on my thread about how waiting till my DD is at least a year old for better blue sway chances immediately convinced me. Though I would love to throw myself into swaying ASAP and a year seems very long, if Atomic says that that ups my chances, that's what I'll do. Best effort and best chance at success above all! And the energy will have to go into obsessively planning and prepping the sway in the meantime and following everyone else's sways -_-

Man, does that sound hyper

[atomic sagebrush]

I am telling you, I get blue swayers daily who are TTC with really close child spacing. I am getting way more blue swayers doing this than pink,
even though we have like 10x as many pink swayers.
This is a huge trend. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/tryi...hance-boy.html This is a clear cut, obvious difference between pink and blue parents and is SO easy to fix. Just wait, guys. Even if it's only 18 months or even just 12. You are really, really hurting your chances of blue with such close spacing.

[atomic sagebrush]

And just to kick a hornet's nest, and please no one take offense at any of this as I'm just thinking out loud here after having just reread this thread, but comparing my daughter's early childhood to my sons as she approaches turning 5, and she is just EASIER. Day in and day out, since day one, she was on average easier than my boys. (with the exception of sleeping in her own bed) Even my husband, who didn't even really want a girl and stated repeatedly that there would be absolutely no difference between the two genders and my gender desire was stupid, admits that she is quieter, entertains herself more, cooperates with others without fighting as much, etc. My two closest boys are 21 months apart and it almost KILLED me. Hardest thing I ever did. Even having my two boys 3 1/2 years apart was harder than adding my daughter to the 2 little boys (my first two boys are much older). I don't know how I could have done another baby boy any closer than I ever did, because they needed so much from me all the time. Raising them as babies and toddlers was 10,000 times more stressful than my daughter (even though I was working full time and moving when she was a baby!) They were either breaking something, making a mess, or in mortal peril constantly. I really do wonder if girl moms can feel they can handle another baby sooner because baby girls, at least on average, are a little easier than baby boys. Maybe it's not something you notice or realize when you're in the moment but it may have some part to play.

I know there are tons of exceptions that now everyone will chime in to share but I am just wondering if this may have something to do with it, if one has a girl or two or three and feel more equipped to handle a new addition than those of us who have 3 boys and they are swinging from the chandeliers fighting light sabers...actually I have to go LOL o.O

I know a woman who had 8 girls in a row, every year she had another one all very close together. Her 8th girl was very difficult and she ended up having a big space between them and yep, you guessed it, ended up with 2 boys in a row at the end.

[Babybeaublue]

Desperation. You can't bear the thought of waiting again. Nothing to do with dh or family name.

[4blue2pink]

Desperation. You can't bear the thought of waiting again. Nothing to do with dh or family name.

Yes.

this was me, except it was desperation for a girl.. and the situation snowballed and got more and more desperate and ugly with each boy.. perhaps desperation tends to be this bad more often (for whatever reasons) in women wanting boys? could it be that the control-freak tendency of pink swayers stops them from spiralling into this?

with me it was like a conveyor belt --get pregnant---find out gender---stop caring and immediately switch attention to the next baby---have baby and get straight onto the next one-- *repeat as many times as it takes*

hideous i know but that was how it was, there was no way i was stopping at all boys and i couldnt bear to live with that reality for even the shortest amount of time.

this is the darker side of gender desire/disappointment which comes up quite alot in the pink swaying threads, but i dont think ive seen it much among the blue swayers.

maybe with this site being so pink-swayer heavy the blue swayers find it harder to speak up about not wanting girls? so when these trends show its much harder to unravel the reasons.

i hope nothing ive said will offend you blue swaying ladies here i actually feel more at home round you as i find the pink swayers can get abit scary-controlling :-/ and the close spacing isnt the norm with pink either as atomic said so im often on my own with that on the pink threads!

Atomic you could be onto something with the girl mums feeling ready earlier due to having girls, but it could be that like me back when i was having the boys some of them simply wont be stopped because for them the current reality is unbearable.

if the sways were reversed (LE for boy and HE for girl) and id of had to wait 12-18 months for the best chance at a girl i honestly dont know what that would have done to me, on the one hand you would be right (as you are for blue) but on the other hand thats 12-18 months of being trapped in a living hell with no possible light at the end of the tunnel which each new early *still not a boy/girl so potentially could be the dream gender* pregnancy brings.

i may be a million miles off track here but this is the really ugly side of what drove me to have a baby every year, i really relate to the blue swayers on this and i feel i dont relate to the control-freak micro-managing side of the pink swayers at all so maybe there is something in that? just a thought.. xx

[Jconger]

Yes.

this was me, except it was desperation for a girl.. and the situation snowballed and got more and more desperate and ugly with each boy.. perhaps desperation tends to be this bad more often (for whatever reasons) in women wanting boys? could it be that the control-freak tendency of pink swayers stops them from spiralling into this?

with me it was like a conveyor belt --get pregnant---find out gender---stop caring and immediately switch attention to the next baby---have baby and get straight onto the next one-- *repeat as many times as it takes*

hideous i know but that was how it was, there was no way i was stopping at all boys and i couldnt bear to live with that reality for even the shortest amount of time.

this is the darker side of gender desire/disappointment which comes up quite alot in the pink swaying threads, but i dont think ive seen it much among the blue swayers.

maybe with this site being so pink-swayer heavy the blue swayers find it harder to speak up about not wanting girls? so when these trends show its much harder to unravel the reasons.

i hope nothing ive said will offend you blue swaying ladies here i actually feel more at home round you as i find the pink swayers can get abit scary-controlling :-/ and the close spacing isnt the norm with pink either as atomic said so im often on my own with that on the pink threads!

Atomic you could be onto something with the girl mums feeling ready earlier due to having girls, but it could be that like me back when i was having the boys some of them simply wont be stopped because for them the current reality is unbearable.

if the sways were reversed (LE for boy and HE for girl) and id of had to wait 12-18 months for the best chance at a girl i honestly dont know what that would have done to me, on the one hand you would be right (as you are for blue) but on the other hand thats 12-18 months of being trapped in a living hell with no possible light at the end of the tunnel which each new early *still not a boy/girl so potentially could be the dream gender* pregnancy brings.

i may be a million miles off track here but this is the really ugly side of what drove me to have a baby every year, i really relate to the blue swayers on this and i feel i dont relate to the control-freak micro-managing side of the pink swayers at all so maybe there is something in that? just a thought.. xx

I agree. With each baby hearing girl I start thinking... well I guess we aren't done. I just found out on Friday we are having a third girl. My heart shattered bc I want to be done but i want a son more than being done... so already thinking I'm only 30, I can't be done yet. I never wanted tons and tons of kids but I can't live without a son and thinking about trying again gives me hope... that he will still come. So I agree. My period never comes though until 9 months- a year after and some how I never get pregnant until it regulates completely... I'm sure doing the whole "wait 12 hours after positive opk" didn't help though either. Lol


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