Just lost a baby, trying for another, how to sway while visiting relatives over the holidays?

[lovemysonbut]

Hello,
I have a 16 month old son and swayed for 6 weeks with him, but obviously it didn't work. I was hysterical for weeks when I found out his gender, but he is the best thing at life and I have never cared since he was born. I'm only having one more though, and would still really love a daughter. I swayed in september/october, was going to TTC in November but got pregnant EIGHT days before O in October. I'm convinced it was a girl becuase I was sick a lot and the timing. I was never sick a day with my son. I found out last week at my 12 week ultrasound that there is no heartbeat. Because it's the holidays and my doctor is incompetentn and didn't know what to do I've had to wait a week to see someone to figure out whether to take pills or have a d & c. Either option seems unfathomnable for my little girl that I may never have again and I'm beside myself right now. has anyone been through this? It's even worse because I have to go through the sway all over again and my husband doesn't believe in it and I don't want to tell friends and family, so it's really hard to hide the diet since it's so restrictive.
Does anyone have any advice about how to continue to sway while visiting relatives and ibn-laws over Christmas? I'm obviously going to avoid coffee (which is super hard), eat yogurt and milk, drink tons of crystal light, avoid breakfast, milk and salt, take calcium, cranberry and folic acid, and replens but I can't really eat only things on the list at other peoples houses, can I ? What would you do?
Also, I really want to ttc as soon as possible (maybe even 2 weeks after d &c - I know a lot of people who did successfully) so how can I lower my ph REALLY quickly? Also, my cycle will be really off so it's going to be hard to wait. I don't want to wait another two months though, and during my next cycle I will be at an all inclusive resort in turks and caicos and that will be VERY anti girl food, tons of it,and very salty (and if not pregnant, lots of drinks). I just want to replace what I've lost because I'm devastated and want to be pregnant again.
I had a hard time sticking to the diet because it's so restrictive. Here's what I ate-egg beaters, swiss cheese, cucumber, raspberries, no salt bread, nutmeg scones and muffins from in gender cookbook, plain chicken breast, plain rice, plain pasta. This is so boring and I can't serve it to my family. Does anyone have other ideas? I'm interested in the French diet because it seems less restrictive but I can't find info on it....what does that allow?
Can I use a lime or vinegar soaked tampon instead of a douche? Can I use this with replens? I need to lower my PH FAST!
I need this to be a girl because if it's not, I'll always think that the one I lost was, because of hte eight day cut off and nausea and vomiting (I'm still nauseous and vomiting while waiting for d & c because my hormones haven't gone down) and I'll really resent and hate the new baby.

[Wanting-a-girl]

Just remember if your not prepared to have another boy don't do it... It's not fair to the baby

[atomic sagebrush]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Timing doesn't sway and symptoms do not predict gender. I had my least amount of sickness with my daughter and one son and was sicker with my other three sons. I'm not saying your intuition is not correct, just that you don't know and I don't want you to get too invested in that feeling that you had your daughter and she was taken from you, because it can reallymess with your mind and aggravate your GD to do that. If you have severe GD, I do urge that you consider HT if that is an option for you or else take a break till you can wrap your brain around the possibility of conceiving a boy. Opposites are always possible even with the best sways.

Re swaying, we don't always have the same views on swaying that the other guys do and you can read about why that is, and what the differences are, here http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...sh-anyway.html

The idea that caffeine sways pink is totally debunked. Caffeine is fine.

The LE Diet that many of us follow is found here: http://genderdreaming.com/forum/tryi...l-version.html This diet is different from the other sway diets and it's less restrictive. You can eat anything basically, as long as you stay within those limits, so it is possible to follow while visiting others and on vacations.

I personally do not believe calcium/sodium levels sway in any way. More about that here: http://genderdreaming.com/forum/tryi...roversial.html

We've been having good results using RepHresh rather than Replens for swaying. Replens is ok too and it will lower your pH. I don't like lime tampons but yes, you can use a lime tampon after intercourse instead of a douche if you would like. Don't use lime with RepHresh, the combo may cause pH to rise.

Getting pregnant soon after a loss does seem to sway pink in rats and many people have had success getting pg with a girl right after a miscarriage. That having been said, your mindset regarding the baby's gender is concerning to me and mentally I'm not sure it's a good idea for TTC. I'm not trying to offend you, I"m trying to help you.

[lovemysonbut]

Honestly, I'm completely devastated over losing my baby, boy or girl. It was shocking-there was no cramping, bleeding or spotting and my hcg levels were still showing 12 weeks pregnant, even though the baby died at 8. I'm NOT tryint to say that I would hate a boy, just that this will be my last child and I'd love a daughter. I thought that people on these boards would understand that!
If I could choose between mc a boy and conceiving a girl right after, or avoiding the pain I'm going through, I'd of course choose the boy any day! I wouldn't have wanted this to happen even if I KNEW it were a boy. It's devastating and I just want to be pregnant again, but do want to sway my odds (although I only have 2-3 weeks before o probably() so was just asking for some pointers for the best and quickest way to do it. If I get pregnant again, and it's a boy, as long as I don't lose it shockingly, I'll be ecstatic. Any life is precious and I love my 16 month old son better than anything in this world. I just want a daughter...

[atomic sagebrush]

Ok, I'm terribly sorry, I read some things in your original post that were trigger words to me for concern. I've seen some people with extremely bad GD and I apologize if I jumped to conclusions in any way. I'm sure you can understand that I have to operate under a 'worst-case scenario' kind of mentality since there's no real way for me to truly know where you're at emotionally other than a couple of paragraphs on a message board.

We ALL totally understand gender preference on this site and you are absolutely welcome here to vent or discuss swaying.

[harleyquinn]

I'd like to gently point out, that after a d&c, it takes a while for your hormones to come down (mine took over 30 days), and during the first couple weeks, your cervix will be open so you are advised not to put anything in your vagina (ie a tampon or penis) or go swimming due to risk of infection,and you will be on antibiotics which apparently sway blue. Also, my cervix was very sore and bruised feeling, sex was downright painful until everything healed up. I think just physically your body needs at least 30 days to recover...I know some women can conceive right after a d&c but I definitely wasn't one of them and to be really honest, it took me awhile to grieve my baby after the initial shock.

Just to add as well...he was a boy, conceived straight after a natural miscarriage, and I did throw up every single day of that 12 week pg; I don't put alot of stock into the more nausea=girls, but I know it is hard to let go of what might have been.

[3boys]

Sorry for your loss

Good luck with whatever you decide.

[lovemysonbut]

I did have extreme GD with my son, but I have never once had it since he was born and part of me wants another boy ebcause he's so amazing. I have wanted a girl since I was little myself (growing up with two brothers I used to BEG my mom to adopt a baby girl) so this is a lifelong dream of mine. I just feel like it was a girl because of the 8 days before o, which is insane that I even got pregnant. My cycle will be off for awhile, and visiting family over Christmas will be hard to sway, but I just want to replace what I lost...

[lovemysonbut]

Thanks everyone!!!

[black&gold]

I feel you on the GD thing. I bawled for days when I found out my first was a boy. Had him and I never felt that again. My second came along and it was a boy again. I wasn't nearly as upset as I knew how much I was in love with my first. Now, we're planning on a third and I can honestly say I'll be equally as happy with a boy. My DH wants a girl the most, and quite honestly.. I only like the idea so that people will actually be excited for us (with the second boy no one cared at all.. we constantly got the "looks like you have to try again for a girl" like my second wasn't wanted or something) Oh, and I've had a name picked out forever that I've wanted to use.. that's another big factor Luckily, I have a sweet boy name too which makes me excited if it's another boy!

I once read some lady write on a GD forum that "It's not about NOT getting what you want, it's about WANTING what you have" that to me sealed the deal on my GD. I wanted to be in love with the idea of my family, and originally I pictured a girl involved, but so far that hasn't been the plan for our fam and honestly.. that's okay! I'm now finding how cool same gender families are and I love the relationship with my boys. Anyways, all this to say.. make sure you are 100% happy with another boy because the sway will be so much more stressful if you aren't - which as we all hear raises T levels = boy

Good Luck!