Super Confused about Frequency!!!

[Lissastick]

I understood that PCOS sways boy but the medication one sometimes takes for PCOS can sway girl. Do you know if she was on Clomid or Metformin? Clomid STRONGLY sways pink, so much so that I think it can override a boy-friendly diet.
I would argue that the many attempts may have decreased sperm count enough to sway girl as well. That's why when people are having trouble conceiving, doctors will usually recommend having sex less frequently to give the sperm a chance. Every single day is not good for fertility.
You said she eats a lot of calories but does she eat/snack all day long or mainly just has all her calories within 2-3 meals?

Maybe you should go down to the every 3 days method? It's still a good pink tactic but gives you a higher chance of conception. Or, if you want to go the opk route, keep up with every 4 days and just add an attempt at your first pos opk. Don't get down! I think I read that while swaying pink, it takes an average of 3 or 4 months to conceive. I could be wrong on that but I do know that it generally takes longer to conceive while swaying pink since you're essentially lowering your fertility.

She was NOT taking meds for her PCOS - see...another thing that was supposed to sway boy AND she SNACKS like a ravenous person. All day long. Lots of cals, all day long. We're talking bananas, avocados. This is what she eats every damn day. I used to work with her, I know her quite well. I am aware of her lifestyle, she also had very good muscle tone!!! These things are all supposed to sway boy and she got a girl! hahah! So the sex every day for 7 days swayed girl because it lowered her husband's sperm count? But, I thought it was supposed raise a woman's testosterone to have sex that much - which would sway boy!!!

sooooo confusing!
All that makes me just say whatevs and just do what I can to get a baby. I got pg with my son with the SMEP and we got him second try. Looking back on it, I had a very, very boy friendly lifestyle - which in many ways is still the same. I was a meat eater then, but besides being a veggie now, I still eat a lot, unless I am really trying to stick to the L.E. diet. I'm struggling the most with that on my sway. Which is a pity, because I'm thinking that is a huge factor??

I am going to continue doing all the other things that I was doing for my girl sway (no prenatals, just folate and vit D, fiber, L.E. diet as much as possible, coffee daily, wine a few times a week) but instead of doing one attempt, we are gettin it on EVERY g-dang day! Hahah! My hubs is totally looking forward to that and I would be super surprised if I didn't get preggo. And yeah, it might be another little mister, but, if my friend had a girl with SUCH an unintentional boy sway (she actually wanted a girl!!! haha), then I could totally get my girl doing what I am doing!!

Thanks for your your advice everyone!

[Lissastick]

Please don't start looking at who did what when where and why ESPECIALLY when it comes to people who have ONE kid. That tells you nothing. Even under ideal circumstances we have about 25% opposites with good sways (and the human race would have died out long ago). Additionally especially with those who have girls, there is often underlying fertility challenges that we cannot see that may predispose people to pink. Additionally additionally, what DH brings to the table matters too. you just can't look at one person, with one kid, and draw any conclusions at all. That's why we track our results and do things that have worked for most people most of the time.

Being vegan and getting more of one's fats and protein from vegetable sources sways pink regardless of cal intake according to several animal studies.

PCOS sways BLUE, not pink.

Sex every day actually has the potential to sway pink. I don't think it's reliable and thus I do not use it as a pink sway tactic. But what happens is, they start BD before the fertile window opens, the sperm from the earlier attempts cannot survive the harsh climate of the female repro tract (and if a woman was less fertile which you cannot tell by looking at someone, her fertile window may only last 1-2 days total (studies indicate this may be the case) and anything in there before that time dies IMMEDIATELY due to lack of EWCM). They all die off. Then by the time the fertile window is actually open, the hubby may be totally depleted from the daily release. The reason I do not use this method as a pink sway tactic is because first of all those of us who make boys are usually more fertile, our fertile window may last much longer, we make more EWCM, our husbands may have better and more numerous sperm to start with, etc etc etc. Secondly, life has a way of interfering with this plan and when people try it they often end up missing a day or two and then lo and behold are into boy frequency patterns every other day or every 2 days. Just because something may possibly sway pink does not always make it a good sway tactic as there are issues of practicality and doability (that's a word, right?) that have to be taken into consideration.

You are TOTALLY overthinking being on your second cycle. That is nothing. It takes fully fertile couples doing everything to get pregnant, an average of 3-6 months to get pregnant. I have seen this happen SO many times you guys start panicking over 1-2 BFN and then stop swaying, and even go so far as to decide to practically sway blue to get pregnant. DON'T. You CAN get pregnant with swaying, I promise you. We can do things to improve odds of conception gradually over time - this is fine. But don't decide you are now infertile and do everything in your power to boost odds of conception, that's what so many of us did and got boys (myself included)

The every 4 day method is just an easy way of being in with one attempt in the fertile window. That's all. Many times people are mistiming their attempt with OPK (let's say they do not O till 3 days have gone by and that is too long a cutoff for them) and by BD every 4 days you are always in with a chance every month. Additionally, the pattern will change in relation to O so while one month it may shake out where you do have your attempt 3 days before O, the next month just from sheer luck you end up O-1 and that may be a better chance of conception for you. Plus you don't have to think about it, you just DO it!

I really, really urge you to proceed with caution here. I've seen too many people decide "well I can't do EVERYthing so I'll do nothing." No. That is not the way to do this. If you can't do one attempt, ok. Your sway, your way. But then try to go about this gradually and wisely instead of just throwing up your hands and giving up. One attempt, ok, scratch that. Go to every 4 days for a couple months. Or if not that, then every 4 days plus one more attempt at positive OPK OR every 3 days if that's too stressful. But don't go from one attempt to SMEP after 2 months!!

But....if the every day for 7 days could work out for us...why not do that? And based on what you said, just because I have one boy, doesn't mean I am super fertile, like women who have lots of boys are, right? Because I only have ONE boy....

You don't recommend doing it once a day for 7 days - so you would recommend every 4 days with one extra attempt at positive OPK??

You know, it's funny. I tested at 8 DPO this cycle, got a BFN, declared myself out and my husband and mother both think that I am pregnant! Hahhahah! That would be HILARIOUS, right?!?

[Girlieplease]

I'm sorry, I do not find this to be true at all, the majority people who give up swaying DO NOT have girls. Oopsies do sway pink, we believe, and also many people who claim they have given up swaying are still doing a lot of stuff left over from the sway when they get girls after a long time. Plus, a lot of our BLUE swayers who take a long time to conceive are ALSO getting girls. I think the reality of the situation is that those couples who take a long time to get pregnant are very often coming in set for pink and thus have more girls than the population as a whole.

A pretty large % of our pink sway opposites are people who freak out and decide they are now infertile and have to do all this stuff to up odds of conception.

Thanks for clarifying Atomic, sorry if what I said was untrue, am pretty new to the site and think I have read a few posts from ladies that have stopped swaying girl and got girls and it swayed my opinion, no pun intended! Good to know that if you give up swaying pink it can sway blue. Good luck Lissastick and I will be excited to follow your journey, keep us posted, whatever you decide!

[atomic sagebrush]

She was NOT taking meds for her PCOS - see...another thing that was supposed to sway boy AND she SNACKS like a ravenous person. All day long. Lots of cals, all day long. We're talking bananas, avocados. This is what she eats every damn day. I used to work with her, I know her quite well. I am aware of her lifestyle, she also had very good muscle tone!!! These things are all supposed to sway boy and she got a girl! hahah! So the sex every day for 7 days swayed girl because it lowered her husband's sperm count? But, I thought it was supposed raise a woman's testosterone to have sex that much - which would sway boy!!!

sooooo confusing!
All that makes me just say whatevs and just do what I can to get a baby. I got pg with my son with the SMEP and we got him second try. Looking back on it, I had a very, very boy friendly lifestyle - which in many ways is still the same. I was a meat eater then, but besides being a veggie now, I still eat a lot, unless I am really trying to stick to the L.E. diet. I'm struggling the most with that on my sway. Which is a pity, because I'm thinking that is a huge factor??

I am going to continue doing all the other things that I was doing for my girl sway (no prenatals, just folate and vit D, fiber, L.E. diet as much as possible, coffee daily, wine a few times a week) but instead of doing one attempt, we are gettin it on EVERY g-dang day! Hahah! My hubs is totally looking forward to that and I would be super surprised if I didn't get preggo. And yeah, it might be another little mister, but, if my friend had a girl with SUCH an unintentional boy sway (she actually wanted a girl!!! haha), then I could totally get my girl doing what I am doing!!

Thanks for your your advice everyone!

But here's the thing though. What if she would have had 5 kids instead of one, and the other 4 were boys?? Or what if there are things she has going on that you just can't see? What if she was 90% set for boys and then just got a pink rol of the dice?? What if she had a girl at least in part because of what she ate during puberty or what her mother ate during pregnancy? Or what her husband did or the time he got kicked in the 'nads in the 8th grade?? If this was easy and obvious, the clever old wives would have figured it out a long time ago.

It is totally up to you what you want to do. I just see this happen with a fair amount of frequency that people will look for a reason not to sway (and it's totally cool not to sway, or to have a relaxed sway, but do it as an active decision instead of tricking yourself into it). It is a trick of the brain and I think it's far wiser to just do what has worked for most people, most of the time, then to seize on one person with one kid and then draw conclusions. This is like an iceberg - the stuff we see is like this tiny tip sticking out and then there is all this stuff there under the water that we don't see, and so it's truly not possible to look at one person and say, a-ha, if that makes sense.

[atomic sagebrush]

Thanks for clarifying Atomic, sorry if what I said was untrue, am pretty new to the site and think I have read a few posts from ladies that have stopped swaying girl and got girls and it swayed my opinion, no pun intended! Good to know that if you give up swaying pink it can sway blue. Good luck Lissastick and I will be excited to follow your journey, keep us posted, whatever you decide!

no not at all I was just trying to explain how I think it works - which is based on what I've seen, there is a trend that longer times to conception = more girls anyway, and far too many times I've seen the gals who give up swaying in a panic after 1-2 BFN are the ones who do get opposites. I just hate to see people panic after 2 BFN, yk??

[atomic sagebrush]

But....if the every day for 7 days could work out for us...why not do that? And based on what you said, just because I have one boy, doesn't mean I am super fertile, like women who have lots of boys are, right? Because I only have ONE boy....

You don't recommend doing it once a day for 7 days - so you would recommend every 4 days with one extra attempt at positive OPK??

You know, it's funny. I tested at 8 DPO this cycle, got a BFN, declared myself out and my husband and mother both think that I am pregnant! Hahhahah! That would be HILARIOUS, right?!?

Oh sorry I meant to go into that but didn't LOL.

The reason I do not and NEVER WILL recommend that as a sway tactic (for pink OR blue!!! I do not recommend this for ANYONE so if a blue swayer is now reading this, it's not right for you either and I can go into that if interested) is because what if you AREN'T one of those people?? What if you are just that couple where your fertile window opens up at O-5 and then your hubby is able to make big batches every day with no worries?? Then you're just adding more and more and more sperm to the mix and they all have a chance at the egg. And if you're NOT one of those couples, you may end up with very low odds of conception because he'll be shooting blanks by that point. Why not just do SMEP again? That really boosts odds of conception for everyone. if you're willing to possibly sway blue, then why not just do SMEP? Why take a chance on something that would possibly sway blue for a good chunk of people and then does NOT boost odds of conception for another good chunk of people? Makes no sense?

Additionally, there is a large practial element involved here because what invariably happens with this method, is that something comes up and you have to skip a day. he's tired. someone's sick. your son wakes up. He is depleted and can't finish. It is oh-so-easy with this method to have it all go wrong and then you end up with eod or every couple days BD and that is even MORE boy friendly. You are again, taking this huge risk for something that may not even HELP you to get pregnant (if you're one of the chunk of people for whom this method drastically diminishes conception)

To sum up: huge risks of blue - either because you may be one of those couples who are just adding more and more sperm to the mix on O-5,4,3,2 OR because you end up skipping days and falling into an every other day or every 2 days pattern, for possibly ZERO payoff because this may not even up odds of conception. if you want to increase odds of conception, do SMEP. Don't gamble on blue for no benefit.

I can't tell you if you're super fertile or not super fertile. I don't even know if being super fertile sways blue. That is a theory like all these things are theories. I just think it's the best course of action for us to do what has worked for most people, most of the time, instead of veering off into speculation about all these theoretical scenarios and then treating the theoretical scenarios with as much gravity as the RESULTS, which have been one attempt and e4d - great results, 2 attempts still ok, 3 attempts in the toilet for pink. In 2011-2012 we did experiment with adding attempts and it was the lowest results we had, even with otherwise great sways. It sucked but it enabled us to see that trend where fewer attempts = more girls. I can't just throw that away in favor of a theory about you possibly being less fertile, yk?? I just want you to be in with a good shot and while I'm always in favor of breaking rules when it's time for BFP - I'm not sure you're there yet and I hate to see anyone falling into the "OMG infertile" pitfall because i've seen it happen to so many others..

8 DPO is way too early for a test! you very well may be pregnant!!

[Lissastick]

Tested again at 10 or 11 dpo, another BFN. I'm on 12 dpo now, I'm pretty sure I am out...

But, for next time, I think we will do SMEP again. It seems that I can't really do the L.E. diet - I am too much of a glutton. I think I actually am at the stage of totally giving up on the sway. The stats I have seen show the L.E. diet being the most important part of a girl sway, plus other things. And my son keeps asking for a brother (then he adds, AND a sister, BOTH! LOL!).

I am going to do the most relaxed sway there ever was. No L.E. diet. Just vegetarian. And SMEP. I'm pretty sure we will get a boy. I have made my peace with that now. I just want another baby BAD!

I appreciate all the advice, big time! I promise to come back and let you know how the most relaxed sway / basically no sway went.

[atomic sagebrush]

Vegetarians have more girls, been shown in studies and our results (even without LE Diet).

No matter what, you cannot lose! Another little man to love (and seriously, I think boys should come in pairs like shoes) or a girl - either way it's going to be a new baby and will be so amazing!

[Lissastick]

Atomic, you are awesome! Your wealth of knowledge and insight is second to none!

At this point, my know it all scientist husband keeps telling me we won't get pregnant with just two attempts, that obviously isn't necessarily true, but, I think he has baby fever too and he just wants a baby. He thinks my gender swaying is silly. Ah, maybe if #2 is a boy, I'll be back trying to do a hardcore sway for a girl in a few years time! Haha!

[Lissastick]

HOLY SHIT! Sorry for the bad language, but I'M PREGNANT! HAHAHA! 12 DPO and a faint positive in the evening...this was our sway when we had ONE attempt! Oohhhhh danggg!!! I'm so happy and nervous right now!!