Moon phase

[TDJ]

Thanks atomic, I have actually really been thinking that I need to let go of every little detail and whatever will be will be. I have my days where I truly think I’ll be ok either way and then I have days when the though of an opposite literally makes me feel like I can’t breathe. I know this sounds horrible but it’s jist the way I feel. I was at a baby shower yesterday and literally every other women was either pregnant with a girl or already had one. I just looked around and thought WOW how do others not even think about it and get one, and here I am trying to change things I have always done to get a girl and it may not work. Sorry for venting. Just having a really bad day x.
I don’t think you realise just how much this site has helped me xx

[atomic sagebrush]

I am so glad this site has helped you in some small way. That makes me very happy.

That is the one thing that still gets to me. I look around my real life and literally everyone having kids since this darn GD crap started for me in 2008, has had a boy and a girl or a girl and a boy just boom, boom, that easily. But I had to have 4 boys over 21 years and do all this research to get one girl when I was 42 and don't even have that much time to enjoy her. And you guys are all in the same boat as me even more so, not sure if you'll ever get a daughter (or son), and some people having to move on without that experience, so it really makes me have resentment for the people who just ahve it handed to them. It just really sticks in my craw, that's all. And all the exact same people are out there doing all this stuff with fabulous houses and seemingly great lives and are always posting Instagram pics of themselves sitting on a beach drinking a margarita or whatever and I am just like "WHY" LOL!!

[TDJ]

Yep totally agree with everything you’ve just said!
Today I was at the shops and a lady said to me “wow you’ve got two boys, I bet you’re wishing for a girl” then the other day I was getting laser and the lady doing it said “wow you’ve got two boys, I have a girl, I hope you get one because girls are so precious and rare”, then at a wedding the other night and a lady said “wow you’ve got two boys, I have a girl, I hope you get one because girls are forever”

Sometimes it peoples comments that make you feel so bad!

Anyway just so so happy I found this site xx

Thanks so much for replying xx

[atomic sagebrush]

"Wow, you've got a big mouth, I bet you're wishing for some duct tape!"

Yes I agree it's people's perceptions that make it all worse. I had my first two boys for quite some time and no one ever said anything to me about it, and I was 100% totally happy (evne when I thought we were done with 2 boys). I had some curiousity about what having a girl was like but it didn't make me sad or upset or anything. When I got pregnant with my 3rd, I had no gender preference. It was only once I started hearing comments like "You need a girl" and stuff like that (not to mention the OWT and stuff) that it got into my head and I started thinking "OMGosh I DO need a girl!" LOL.

Let me tell you about the "girls are forever" concept. In my family AND my husband's family, it is the boys who have helped the parents and stayed with them while the girls have followed their husbands across the country. I'm talking like 20 people where the sons were the ones who were helping the parents out and the daughters were doing what their hubbies wanted them to do. And as one of the few people on here who has adult kids (both boys) they call me all the time, are wonderful and supportive and are truly my best friends in the world (not in a weird way). And as an "older woman" lol you may be surprised at how much you want to do your own thing...I mean I love my kids and all but I still want to do things for myself, write, travel, garden, etc and I don't live for my kids every minute of every day the way we do when they're small. My day never rises and sets on OMG did the boys call? Are they thinking of me?? (and neither do my parents, either) It just isn't a thing. All these fears we have are completely misguided and based on jerks' comments and innuendo when they have no idea what our lives are going to be like!

[TDJ]

Thank you atomic. You have literally make me feel so much better!
You are truly an amazing person xx