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  1. #1
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    Confused Advice on Abstinence + One attempt

    Hi!

    DH (29) and I (27) will be trying for our first in May, and we are therefore very new to anything pregnancy related. This is my first post on this (very very) insightful forum.


    We don't have a clear preference for either gender, since this will (hopefully) be our first child - BUT we would really like to end up with at least one girl.

    As we don't plan on having more than 2 kids, we figured it would probably be best to look into swaying before starting out. Especially since we discovered that we naturally have a very boy-friendly lifestyle (lots of potassium rich foods, no dairy, meat every day, DH goes to the gym, et cetera).


    I have been browsing through a LOT of topics already, but there is one thing that is still very confusing to me. I read about the Abstain + 1 Attempt method in this topic by Atomic Sagebush:


    Abstain + 1 attempt: If you choose to do abstain, you are pretty much limited to one attempt by definition. I think it is best to time that attempt for maximum odds of pregnancy (timing doesn’t sway!) Your best odds of conception are at O-2 and O-1, and since BD at positive OPK (O-1) tends to be much less stressful for people rather than blindly guessing at O-2, my advice is to BD once at pos OPK with abstain. If you are really sold on Shettles, then you’ll want to try for an attempt on O-2.

    DH and I want to practise this method, going for 1 attempt, at either O-2 or O-1 (whatever we'll feel like at the time).

    However, we don't understand the "abstinence" part. This could just be language-related (I'm European, not a native speaker), so please bear with me.


    Question: Which of the following methods are meant by "abstinence", and which would be the best option for us?

    NOTE: I am fairly regular (cycle 28/29 days) and almost always ovulate on day 15 (have been tracking BBT for 2 years because we didn't want to get pregnant yet, used it as a contraception method).


    1. DH does not ejaculate at all between CD 1 and our first and only attempt (either on O-2 or O-1). This means that DH’s sperm will be approximately 2 weeks old by then.
    2. We are free to BD until CD7 (and/or DH is free to “dance” on his own). Thereafter, no ejaculation until our attempt at O-2 or O-1. This means that DH’s sperm will be approximately 1 week old by then.
    3. No BD until our attempt at O-2 or O-1, but DH can help himself until CD7. This means that DH’s sperm will be approximately 1 week old by then.
    4. We are free to BD until CD9. Thereafter, no ejaculation until our attempt at O-2 or O-1 (which is around CD13/CD14). This means that DH’s sperm will be approximately 4/5 days old by then.


    Could someone please let me know which of the above options is advisable? DH and I are in this together, so either option is fine with both of us.


    In addition, we plan to do the following:
    • 1000 mg Calcium nitrate daily for both of us
    • 200 mg Magnesium nitrate for both of us
    • Cut down on salt (we don’t really use much anyway)
    • Cut down on potatoes/tomatoes/bananas/meat
    • Consume way more dairy. I will start drinking 3 glasses of milk, and also add in yoghurt, cottage cheese et cetera.
    • I have been taking prenatal vitamins (containing 600 mg Quatrefolic Folate) for 2 months, and will continue to do so.
    • DH will take multivitamins as well


    Is any of the above advisable, or could this be overdoing it? We don't really mind, because it kind of seems healthier than our current eating patterns anyway.


    I am still in doubt about the following, and would really like some advise on this as well:
    • I have read that prenatal vitamins sway boy. Is this information correct, or is it outdated? I really want a healthy baby, and would therefore prefer to keep taking them, especially since I’m not a big eater.
    • I have ordered Omega 3 capsules (480 mg DHA/104mg EPA), because we never eat fish (DH hates it). But I also read that these sway boy. Is this info correct or outdated?



    Excuse the long post! I would really appreciate some advice on this.

    Also sorry in advance if some of these are very obvious to long-time members, I'm trying very hard to read all of the existing topics, but it's quite a lot for this newby to take in...

    -BeatrixPotter

  2. #2
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    Oh gosh this is a bit long Beatrix - can you please bump this for me??? I did delete your other post so if you or anyone else wants to give this a bump I'd really appreciate it.
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  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush View Post
    Oh gosh this is a bit long Beatrix - can you please bump this for me???
    Of course - bump! Curious about your advice!

  4. #4
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    Augh, can you please bump this for me one more time?? I thought I'd have a chance at it today!
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  5. #5
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    Hi Atomic,

    Yes, please! *bump*

    I'd love to hear your advice.

    -BeatrixPotter
    Last edited by BeatrixPotter; April 3rd, 2019 at 01:15 PM.

  6. #6
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    ok I'll probably end up breaking this into a couple pieces so don't panic if I post and not all your questions have been answered.

    I LOVE to see people sway for their first! Great!

    I think you should do option 2 - you can have sex as desired till CD 7 and then DH does not ejaculate any more.

    1000 mg calcium is a LOT. I know they recommend this on other sites but I have grown very wary of you guys taking so much since it may be harmful. https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/news...mage_the_heart Your call.

    We don't believe in the mineral diets here. Most of us, myself included, got BOYS doing the Ingender girl diet. So you can cut back on potassium if you want to (although be sure you're getting 2500 mg as that is the amount your body needs, and this is the same on all sway diets because it is for your health!) and sodium - although most of us totally gave up on that and our results have only gone up since we did.

    I cannot recommend eating tons of dairy though. While you can have dairy within the limits for the day (1500-1800 cals, 40-50 g protein, 30-60 g fat, NOT COUNTING the protein and fat in fruits and veg, and nothing in low carb veg which are free and unlimited) I cannot recommend the sky high dairy intake that is recommended by Ingender as high intake of nutrients may sway blue. There is a lot of protein, fat, and calories in that much dairy and you'll def. go over the limits for the day by overdoing the dairy.

    The prenatals are at your discretion. We believe they sway strongly blue and the evidence indicates the only supplement that prevents birth defects taken before pregnancy is the folic (which we all take separately, folic or folate alone) but I understand it's hard to give up (I didn't with my 4th baby and got a boy) There is a compromise option too where you take the prenatal 3x a week instead of daily.

    I would have you wait to start the DHA till you're pregnant, but again, your call to make. YOu can take them 3x a week.

    The nutrients for your husband seem less important but I'd still have him either wean off or go to 3x a week on his supplements too.
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  7. #7
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    It was actually shorter than I thought! Thanks for your patience!
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

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  8. #8
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    Whoops I haven't been here in quite a while. Thank you so much Atomic!

    We'll stick to your CD7 advice, and I have stopped taking the DHA supplements. I am also switching to a very basic prenatal (just folic acid and D3, because I am chronically low on D3).

    This is our very first try, so we'll be taking a very relaxed approach. This is mostly to counteract us "naturally" swaying for a boy. Ever since we decided to start trying, I have noticed that I'm getting less and less worried about the baby's gender. Which I guess... is a good thing?

  9. #9
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    No worries, remember it's not your job to get back to me, it's my job to get back to you!

    yes if you're low on anything it's ok to take it.

    That IS a good thing!! That's one of the best elements about swaying for a first - no matter what you're taking the first steps in an amazing journey that will change your life in soooo many wonderful ways!! Let me know how I can help!!
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

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  10. #10
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    Hi Atomic,

    Turns out we have huge trouble finding my O

    I've been using OPKs for 2 months now, and they do not seem te be working for me. I'm using the pink Clearblue digital sticks, and haven't gotten any smileys yet.

    We considered DTD yesterday (CD13), but decided against it because the OPK was negative yet again. And also because on average I O on CD15.

    I usually get a temp dip the morning before I ovulate. I'm on CD14 today, and got a dip this morning. Which probably means O will be this afternoon. We won't be able to DTD until 8PM. Are we to late this cycle?

    I'm afraid we waited too long!

    Should I just stop using the OPKs? But then how will we know when to BD on O-1? I would love to hear your advice!

    Here's this month's chart:
    b_hUu0G6.jpg

    My previous charts for reference:

    March:
    b_YmBUQC.jpg

    February:
    b_QXgOWR.jpg

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