LE Standard or PCOS?

[atomic sagebrush]

Can you bump this for me?? I'm out of time for today.

[onelittlewish]

Bump! Take your time I have no urgent issue or question…just need someone to talk to to clear my head abit. I thought I was very chilled until my best friend got pregnant a month ago at first try with one attempt and cut off swaying girl. Shes also has two boys and it seemed so easy for her. I am happy for her but it’s hard. Now I started to question if everything I did ruined my ability to conceive and I end up with no sway tactic at all as my diet and exercise are not as solid as before too you know what i mean

[atomic sagebrush]

No not at all, remember it's not your job to get back to me, it's my job to get back to you!

Ok, so once you're out of the birthday months I think it's definitely time to add an attempt.

I agree that it is time for followup testing. While most men can absolutely father a baby with one attempt (and all men with any reasonable amount of sperm can over the course of time) it's possible that one or the other of you may have something going on and it's not happening for that reason. If he has low sperm count, or you have partial blocking in your tubes, two attempts would obvs. be better. Alternatively, it's also possible that it's not that you've only had one attempt per se, but that the attempts just didn't fall at the right time in any given month, and by adding in another attempt you'll have better timing.

Please don't hesitate to add in attempts now. What happens, and I know most people think it can't possibly happen to them, but it will eventually, is that at some point you're going to panic and start doing anything and everything to get pregnant. Doesn't it make more sense to make small and reasonable changes now, than to wait till you're so frustrated that you give up completely??? Go ahead and add in an attempt, keep doing what you're doing otherwise, and see what happens.

I want you to take a little test for me. Get some iron, 30-60 mg, somewhere in there, and take it every day for a week. If you feel dramatically, drastically better (sometimes within even a couple hours of taking the first dose) continue taking it daily for 6 weeks, then go to a maintenance dose of 3x a week. If you don't feel any better, take it 3x a week from now on anyway. Your tiredness sounds like it could possibly be anemia.

[atomic sagebrush]

Bump! Take your time I have no urgent issue or question…just need someone to talk to to clear my head abit. I thought I was very chilled until my best friend got pregnant a month ago at first try with one attempt and cut off swaying girl. Shes also has two boys and it seemed so easy for her. I am happy for her but it’s hard. Now I started to question if everything I did ruined my ability to conceive and I end up with no sway tactic at all as my diet and exercise are not as solid as before too you know what i mean

That is one thing that still gets to me. The number of people for whom it just happens for, seemingly with no trouble at all, and then there's the rest of us. While I'm mostly at peace with GD stuff at this point, I still get a little irritated when I see people who have a boy and a girl very easily, no trouble conceiving, none of the rest of it, and then they're just like "thank GOD, we're DONE!" These people are invariably rich and doing amazing things like taking trips and having all these family adventures, and I'm like "why could this not happen for the rest of us so easily?" IDK, it just rubs me the wrong way some days.

Re your diet, if memory serves you were dieting too strictly anyway so a relaxed diet is definitely better for you regardless. No worries on that.

[Kazzzz]

Hey sorry Atomic quick question I'm swaying girl as you know but coffee is aggravating my anxiety in a major way so I'm worried the heightened anxiety will sway blue more then the coffee sways pink? I'm getting anxiety medication because i already have anxiety so maybe if i stonp coffee till i have that medication on board then retry with the coffee? Which is stronger coffee for girl or anxiety for boy?

[onelittlewish]

We will def add attempt in May if not getting preg in Apr, then we need to go back to e4d again in Jun & Jul because of my DS1's birthday. After that we are clear till year end. As much as I want to get preg asap I can't imagine doing 2 birthday parties back to back So I am mentally prepared that this will drag on abit longer..

What are some standard tests that they usually do? Over here usually they just ask you keep trying...esp I have two kids already they usually say that there is no problem and it's just a matter of time.

The journey itself is hard enough and it feels like no one understand that ttc #3 is just as hard as ttc #1. People kept saying don't stress you already have 2! You will get pregnant eventually. I have a friend who has a boy and a girl told me that she would love to have a third but her hubby is done with 2 so I should be grateful that I have the chance to have 3 kids, even if the third is a boy. I know she meant no harm but it really gets me. So now I just don't talk about it with anyone so I don't get unwanted comments that are supposed to make me feel better. I am just glad I still have a safe place here to share my mind.

I will def try adding iron and see. If one tab is 20mg then I'll take 2x a day? Always thought that the exhaustion is from managing my two little ones. I didn't feel that I was super strict with my diet but with skipping breakfast and cutting out white carbs and sugar and snacking I did lose about 3kg over the first 6 months. Then I gained back about 2kg in the last 3 months or so and now holding steading at bmi 18.9. I am still 0.5kg lower than my lowest adult weight and still mindful about not snacking and not eating too much sugar so hopefully that still count for something.

I got 3 days of low and straight away got my peak smiley yesterday on CD12 and we had an attempt last night. My OPKs are pos since yesterday morning and since last night the test lines have been blazing dark. I had never seen such dark lines before and for such a long time, whatever that means. And I got a whole lot more EWCM today than yesterday and super bloated, so hmm finger crossed that we got the attempt at the right timing this month although deep down I think the attempt is a bit early but probably better than late right?

By the way, does being stressed out with my kids sway blue? I feel like I'm constantly snapping at my kids. I try not to micro manage them but it's so hard argh. It's worse when I feel drained and then I stress over my emotion control issue and viscous cycle. I don't think this is something I can change but I am curious whether you see this more in blue moms.

And now that I am not on clomid, I just realised how much EWCM I have! So I had barely any EWCM in the months when I took clomid. Probably that's making it harder to conceive?

[atomic sagebrush]

Hey sorry Atomic quick question I'm swaying girl as you know but coffee is aggravating my anxiety in a major way so I'm worried the heightened anxiety will sway blue more then the coffee sways pink? I'm getting anxiety medication because i already have anxiety so maybe if i stonp coffee till i have that medication on board then retry with the coffee? Which is stronger coffee for girl or anxiety for boy?

I can't answer that question as I have no scientific data to compare the two things.

If you're not tolerating coffee well, you should wean off coffee!

[atomic sagebrush]

OLW:

Hey, ok, as long as you are fine with that pacing that's your call to make totally. I'm honestly fine with you guys trying at your own pace always, it's just that I've seen too many people go on and on only to all at once, chuck everything, so I like to warn you about the possibility.

The helpful tests would be testing to make sure your tubes are clear and your husband's sperm count. That having been said, what ~usually~ happens is that they'll test the most basic stuff - LH, FSH, and progesterone - which are not helpful in 99% of cases and then they'll be like "see, everything is fine! keep going" while missing the two things that actually may be preventing conception. But often you have to sit thru that first round of testing before they'll let you move on to the good stuff, LOL.

People who have a boy and a girl simply don't understand. I agree that was out of line but it appears to be just beyond the ability of people to understand unless they have experienced it firsthand.

Yes, take 20 mg twice a day and see how it goes. If you're anemic you will likely feel dramatically, drastically better almost immediately so then we'll have more of an inkling that is an issue.

Your weight is much better than it was, just try to hold steady. If a little bit of weight sneaks back on that's fine, I don't want you losing any more again.

Great! I'm so glad you got a clear OPK and a nice attempt! Yes that's right, you can always conceive with a slightly-too-early attempt, but not a late one! Err on the side of early vs. late.

No, I don't see child-related stress in boy moms vs. girl moms. Boy moms are generally more controlling of EVERY aspect of life than girl moms tend to be so that is definitely "a thing" but many of us control freaks, myself included, still get girls. And when it comes to moms of all girls, they are often very stressed out and overwhelmed by their kiddos too. You just can't tell anything on that basis.

[Kazzzz]

I can't answer that question as I have no scientific data to compare the two things.

If you're not tolerating coffee well, you should wean off coffee!

Ok thanks atomic i guess my main concern is that anxiety can sway blue? An if coffee is causing more anxiety will it hinder my girl sway? If anxiety and coffee both sway girl then i wouldn't have a problem lol

[onelittlewish]

So this morning I got my 3rd day of positive OPK but today the test line is as dark as the control one so I think it's turning negative later in the day. I usually get 1.5-2 days of pos OPK but never 3 days so I just went in for a scan because I can't chart this month and I simply can't keep up e4d until my next period. and guess what? I got my OPK was still at around 7:30am and by the time I went in for my ultrasound at 9am, the ovulation had happened already. So like you said it is totally possible to have ovulated before the surge ends. Probably I caught the very beginning of the surge and the tail of it. So the timing attempt was just nice, probably 1-1.5 days before O. Finger crossed we catch the egg this time.

I also talked to my doc about the further testing and she said in her opinion my hormones are normal and my uterus lining looks fertile (0.87cm with the three lines) so if we want, we can start by doing sperm analysis BUT she thinks it's not necessary because I have two kids already. I'll keep in mind with the tube aspect and ask her about it when we are at that point.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and I used to be the type who think I can get a B+G easily and done with 2. Now I am actually glad that I have two boys instead of having a boy and a girl because my boys are so close together and they share the same interests - although fighting all the time too. The bond is quite different with siblings of the same gender. The older they grow the stronger I feel this way. But my heart still yearns for a mini me you know. I am ok with ttc at a slower pace but the only concern I have is that the age gap between my first two and #3 is getting bigger and bigger. My ideal gap was 2.5-3 and now it is def 3+ or even 4. I know you have two pairs of boys with a huge gap in between, do you find that the kid have less common interests and have a harder time becoming close? And how does your girl fit in? I don't think 4-5yo is even that big of a gap but I see this "less bonding" happening in a few families around me who has kids 5 years apart. So that worries me a bit.