Month 4 ttc - what to drop, what to keep?

[NeedAGirl!]

I don't feel like there is much I can drop. I am not ready to drop abstinence and I think that would prob be the big one. Obviously, I will keep to the diet.

Vitex AF-O (last mo O was delayed - 8 days late! so will stop Vitex on CD12 regardless of O)
Prog cream - O-AF

No Rephresh - my pH is lower without it.
Cranberry - I have been taking just one strong cranberry capsule only 1x per day only for about 3-4 days before O. I think I prob need to stop this. Since being on the diet, my pH only goes to about 4.2 at O and stays closer to 4, sometimes around 3.8, at other times. Maybe this is too low?

Timing/DH - LR for about 10 days prior to O. First 2 months, we did abstain for about 10 days with one attempt at O-2 on month 1 and O-1 on month 2. NO J&D, gels, etc. We did both take Zyrtec. Month 3 was all messed up so we started with abstain and had to switch over to FR with LR as O was so late. We actually dtd several times but added J&D and a ft of Replens (it is what I had on hand).

I think my hubby is a high T guy - he is a hairy Italian - LOL. I noticed that with the FR, his T seemed to be higher than with abstain - big increase in sex drive, etc.

What complicates matters too is that this month, DH and I will be separated on CD 9-11 (I usually O on CD12). I don't think there is any point on dtd before I leave. So I am thinking a shorter abstain - about 7 days, cut out cranberry, no gels, etc. Dtd as soon as I get home (if OPK +) with no j&D the first time. Prob will dtd again maybe 1 or 2 times within that 24 hours but will prob J&D with subsequent attempts. Don't think I need anything else to lower pH. Not sure about Zyrtec? I have had barely any EWCM.

All opinions greatly appreciated!! I really want to be done!

[rainbowflower]

I'd prob keep the abstain, perhaps drop the LR or the zyrtec, 1 or 2 attempts at pos OPK sounds good as that'll ensure swimmers are there waiting

some EWCM is needed to help the swimmers reach the egg - I know a few believe that even with the zyrtec there is still remaining CM there but there is also theory that CM is needed to help the swimmers capacitate before they can fertilise the egg, the abstaining itself will keep the sperm count lower on its own

my preference is to lower sperm count externally/in the VJ, and keep your body's internals the same to keep fertility up enough for a BFP

[atomic sagebrush]

Question - did I answer this already in the DM forum?? It is fine to post it twice (you'll get more responses of course) but I just don't want to answer twice if I don't ahve to.

[NeedAGirl!]

Hi AS - this is the only place I posted but I know there have been similar posts by others. I'll take any advice!

[atomic sagebrush]

I agree that dropping abstain would be the biggie but if you aren't ready to give up on abstain, then that's off the table!

dropping cran

stopping V on CD 12

shorter abstain and you may want to drop the LR/Zyrtec for him - he may just not be shooting enough to get the job done. You're right that FR wouldn't work out for you this month anyway and so I would give it one more month on abstain since that's what is in your heart to do anyway. Are you 110% sure he will actually abstain?? I always worry about that as the months go by - even the most willing hubby starts to have second thoughts about abstain after 4 months of it!

Can you compromise on J and D - lay flat for 5 min and THEN J and D??

Leave the Zyrtec for you up in the air until you get closer to O. If you see EWCM, take it, if not, skip it. No need to decide about it in advance, it can be a "rescue" method too if you suddenly have more EWCM unexpectedly.

[NeedAGirl!]

Thanks Atomic! That helps a lot! I am going to do as you suggested - dropping cranberry and stopping V on day 12. Will keep Z on a as needed basis.

DH had his last release this AM so that should give him a 7 or 8 day abstain. I do trust that he will abstain - but I'll keep questioning him - ha! We are almost out of LR and I am hoping we don't have to buy more so he will take it but will actually take less than previous months to ration it out.

I guess my final Q is if we should do more than one attempt or not. I am always conflicted about that with abstain. Should we just do one attempt at pos OPK with no J&D, gels etc OR that plus DH releasing 2x and then dtd one more time all within 24 hours (prob with J&D the second time?)

[atomic sagebrush]

After 4 months, he should prob have a bit of a break from the LR anyway. I know on IG they say 6 months and then break but if you're out of the stuff anyway, it may be time.

I think if you're going to do abstain, you HAVE to stick with one attempt - unless you switch to compressed FR - which I see you are considering doing. I would like to see you do a more intense compressed FR if possible tho. I think especially with guys who have pretty high T, their bodies can switch to manufacturing sperm pretty quickly so you really have to deplete them with a LOT of compressed FR - even up to 3-4 times that first day or two...2 releases, one of which is the attempt, may not cut the mustard.

[prayforprincess]

You can try doing multiple attempts at one time back to back. That is what I am trying.
We are abstaining 9+days, then roughly on +opk night we will DTD 3 times.
1st attempt - say 9pm
2nd attempt - 11pm (only 2 hours later so not to give the sperm much time to build-up, making sure his count is still low
3rd attempt - 5am

I will lay flat for attempt 1&2; but will jump and dump after 5 minutes with attempt 3 since that will be a few more hours later.
I am only doing rephresh every 3 days and then will use a tiny drop of sylk with attempt 2 & 3.

[NeedAGirl!]

We kind of did that last month with several attempts around O. I know that AS recommends that with abstinence it be a 1x attempt. (she does say you can add the compressed FR but doesn't really recommend it) My timing has not been quite ideal yet. I might be out this month due to timing - I had to leave my hubby for a few days to go to a funeral and I just got a digital OPK + a few moments ago! I won't see my hubby for about 24 hours. My OPK was negative this AM so maybe I will get an attempt in right at O or O+12. Cant really help it this month!

[atomic sagebrush]

Compressed FR is ok, I just want people to make it REALLY compressed LOL! DTD with abstain once, having DH release the next morning and then BD again that night, I just don't feel is compressed enough for safety! Good luck!