Just chat thread...

[Wanting-a-girl]

personally if i was in your situation having many losses i would throw swaying out the window... but thats just me... my desire for a baby is stronger than my desire for a daughter...

so sorry for all lyour losses it is heartbreaking and i pray that you get a very sticky pink bean

[harleyquinn]

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[harleyquinn]

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[EmmyRoo]

I don't want to get into a discussion that's none of my business but I do feel that gender desire is not a rational thing. Personally I'd love nothing more than to wake up tomorrow with no gender preference and be able to enjoy TTC in a laid back way with no worries about the outcome but it's not going to happen. Don't get me wrong, I'm desperately sad about my loss and in the heat of grief last week after finding out I'd have given anything to have a healthy baby, regardless of gender, but I'm also aware that this grief will pass and I will learn to live with it/get past it and move on with my life and my desire for a DD will still be there. I will sway in some way when we are able to TTC again because I don't want to look back one day and regret rushing into TTC because I was grief-stricken and threw my chances of a DD out of the window. I hope I'm making sense, I've had some wine tonight and cannot hold my drink after 13 dry weeks!

Lace, they have given me another week to miscarry naturally after which I'll be scanned again and if I'm not bleeding or showing signs of significant progress (i.e. sac sitting on my cervix ready to come out) they'll book me in for surgical/medical management. I really don't want either so find myself in the surreal situation of hoping to miscarry asap. Weird. I do just want to be able to get past this though, the waiting is just cruel.

X

[LacePrincess]

I agree with Emmy, that GD isn't rational. We all KNOW it isn't rational. The maternal instinct isn't all that rational either, if you think about it, lol.

I think we all experience GD differently. Some seem to have a harder time than others, is all. I imagine that when faced with infertility it can be similar (not saying GD = infertility at all, just talking about the broad range of ways people can experience it). Take my mom for instance.....she would've been perfectly fine if she'd never had kids at all (and she frequently TELLS me that, thanks mom!). Whereas I feel like I was born to be a mom and it would've been soul destroying to my core if I were infertile. I do think GD is like that, to some it's disappointing but not so bad to get over if we never got our DG, and to others it's just crushing.

Personally I'm of the former and after reading about how difficult some ladies find it I'm grateful that the desire for a girl isn't as much of my 'core', if that makes sense?

Emmy, I hope this will be over for you soon. I knew that there had to be a deadline in there somewhere or the risk of infection would surely be a problem. I'm so sorry you're stuck, I know it sucks very hard not to be able to move on yet. I hope you're treating yourself to something nice and that your hubby is taking good care of you!

[Wanting-a-girl]

like i said i was just giving my personal opinion i didnt mean to offend you... you were asking for opinions

[harleyquinn]

I never, ever asked for opinions of what I should do or feel.

[sugarNspice]

For me, my gd is stronger since my last loss, but I knew that baby was a girl, which is what DH and I had been wishing for. We were sooooo happy when I got past the first trimester and heard that it was a chromosomally normal girl after CVS, and that happiness just made the grief and disappointment all the harder.
We TTC'd this cycle, and I did sway. I don't feel like anything I do to sway has caused my losses (I've had a lot of chromosomally abnormal ones, and I think this had to do with age rather than diet or supplements). I feel like I keep the LE diet as healthy as I can, eating lots of fruits and veggies and nutritious foods. I also haven't been very strict this time around--I know what the LE diet feels like b/c I did it carefully for a long time, so this month I'm not counting calories, but just trying to eat LE-ish, but healthily, if that makes sense.
I also take Clomid to sway, but have had a short luteal phase and low progesterone for a long time, and it really helps with this. I take it under the supervision of an RE who believes it's helpful for my progesterone issues, too.
In short, I've done as much as I could to sway pink without making myself crazy or doing stuff that I felt was detrimental to my health or the health of a future pregnancy. I do take a prenatal, and I take CoQ10 (not usually recommended for pink sways). I will do this much again, or more, next time--until we qualify for insurance coverage for IVF, and then I'd like to try HT (for gender, but also to see if it helps with my issue of repeated chromosomally abnormal pgs).
I think the grief associated with loss and the desire for a particular gender are really separate issues, and not everyone wants a baby--no matter what the gender--more for having had losses. Or to put it differently, not everyone's gender desire is lessened by grief.

[harleyquinn]

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[Wanting-a-girl]

I never, ever asked for opinions of what I should do or feel.

You asked what our mind set towards swaying was after a loss/losses... So I was giving mine, I dont know why your talking to me like I said something wrong I didnt I gave my opinion... I had a loss in November I know what it feels like too that is my opinion....