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  1. #1
    Dream Vet
    Rainbow baby's Avatar
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    Angry Any one give you any negative comments about ttc again after a loss!!

    Long story short my bf for around 5 years we met at primary School she is basically my only friend IRL! Anyway she had a go at me when I revealed we were ttc again soon! Said I was selfish to put everybody trough it again, brought back how I had an ectopic and nearly died said my insides are obviously in not so many words un-reliable! Told me I am unwell and needed to talk to another doctor and be put on meds because I lost my son! Basically told me she thought I was a idiot firstly and a nut case! I can't believe she said this! One I am a grieving mother, two nothing I did could have prevented my baby dying. I am so down right now! Yes I have had a lot of pregnancy troubles but I have conceived 6 times since my ectopic! Also their is nothing anyone could have done to prevent my angels death, I had all the tests and the autopsy there was no cause! She down right said I was stupid for not going to a fertility specialist first! I am trying to understand her point, I know she is just worried but gezzzz I feel down! I don't see what a specialist of any kind could possibly do? Should I see one? I think I am fine. The hospital said I could try again when ever I am ready!!Everything works I have had 3 healthy boys! I don't know ladies I am just so down tonight! Thank god for genderdreaming to take my mind of it! Thank goodness I am not alone! Sometimes I feel so selfish for wanting another baby after having 3 healthy boys, after all they have to go trough it again as well!! My family!! Am I selfish? Maybe I should just be happy with what I have got after all I know I am going to be a nervous wreck if I do get pregnant again!
    Sorry for the long rant but it sure made me feel better!!
    Hoping for a pink rainbow!


  2. #2
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    LacePrincess's Avatar
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    Rainbow, I'm sorry that you had to hear those insensitive things. Big hugs to you.

    Some people just don't get it and don't really want to, yk? My mom is like that. I won't tell her we're ttc again and I won't tell her I m/c'ed either. I know what she'll say, she'll just say it's God's plan and I should be grateful for the blessings I have and I shouldn't be 'greedy'. Ouch.

    I've learnt that you just can't change other people, so if you know they're going to be insensitive it's best not to even go there. I love my mom but sometimes she drives me insane!

    No you're not selfish at all, but I think you already know that. I hope you don't take those words to heart and hopefully ranting to us helps somewhat.
    Me (38) and DH (38)

    SAHM military momma to DS1 (2004), DS2 (who's all boy but loves to dance, though not in a tutu!) (2006), DS3 (2009), and our rainbow baby girl DD1 (2017)

    early m/c Jan 2013

    Cycle #1 @ HRC (Oct 2014) - 6 retrieved, 4 mature, 3 fertilized and biopsied. 1XX and 1XY abnormal. 1XX no DNA found, rebiopsied and found normal, frozen.
    FET attempt #1 (Nov 2014) - cancelled due to functional cyst. FET attempt #2 (Jan 30, 2015) - NT. Remaining embie failed to thaw.

    May 2015 - started infertility treatments at OFC. Femara 2.5mg
    July 2015 - BFP after second round of Femara. Aug 4 2015 - 6w4d
    Dec 21 2015 - mmc 7w1d

    Apr 2016 - IVF Cycle #2. Converted to IUI because of uneven response and leading follicles.
    Apr 19, 2016 - IUI with 3 mature follicles (2 right, 1 left), post wash: 17mil, 94% motility and 89% rapid motility. BFN.

    June 3, 2016 - 5mg Femara cycle. 5w.
    Sep 1, 2016 - 5mg Femara cycle. 8w.

    Our rainbow baby girl arrived on Mon Aug 28, 2017 - "After every storm comes a rainbow". We are so thankful and grateful for every moment.

  3. #3
    Dream Vet
    Rainbow baby's Avatar
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    Yeah it did thanks Lace princess, it did up set me because I thought I would get support not crushed to the ground! Not told I was selfish. Stuff her.... I know what the risks are and what MY family needs and quiet frankly the boys want! They keep asking for another baby! I guess it is just hard finding out people think I am nuts purely and simply because I had some very bad luck and lost my son late! Of course I am sad but life goes on and I plan on living it the best I can! Thanks for the support!
    Hoping for a pink rainbow!


  4. #4
    Big Dreamer
    inshaallahxx's Avatar
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    I have not lost a baby so I can't say I understand your pain but I can imagine it. I'm sorry that you received such a horrible reaction. That would have upset me greatly. I know if I was ttc and had lost a baby I would try again as soon as possible.
    I don't think your selfish at all.

  5. #5
    Dreamer

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    your friend is insensitive i can totally see where your coming from gl on conceiving and a happy healthy pg think pink
    ds1 2008 ds2 2011 ds3 so hoping for a girl or 2 one day

  6. #6
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    Wow, that is crazy. Maybe not much of a friend? Good Luck with your new pregnancy!!

  7. #7
    Dream Newbie

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    PS Hoping to join you soon!

  8. #8
    Big Dreamer

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    So sorry to hear this. Hope that you can ignore it and move past it. You know what is right and best for your family. GL!

  9. #9
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    mommymachine's Avatar
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    If your selfish then I'm a monster. I'm on my 5th. I have no idea why she would react like that. My mom lost her first child at 22 weeks. She told me that after she lost her she needed to get pregnant right away again. She got pregnant within a year and had my oldest brother.

    It's nobod else's decision. It's yours and your DH. That's it. I wish you blessings on your journey to a healthy baby.
    Thank you God and Our Lady
    - 2005 - 2007 - 2010 - 2012 - 2013 - 2016

    Due January 2021

    Dec '12, Feb '13, July '15

  10. #10
    Dream Vet
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    Thanks ladies although it has been a while it still stir's on me! I am ok! I know she was the one out of line and I get her point! We haven't spoke again about the issue and I plan on not sharing it with her when we find out!
    Hoping for a pink rainbow!


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