What do I do now?

[2boysJustOneGirl]

My husband and I have already discussed a bit what our plan will be. He wants to TTC right away. And I feel the same.

I am wondering when we should attempt? What cycle day am I on once we know the fetus has passed? I am so confused. I want to catch the first egg, not wait a cycle, but I haven't been doing cardio everyday or eating LE. Does this still sway pink, like 80%, without diet and exercise? Should I at least start the diet now?

Tons of questions. Am I crazy for even wanting to TTC so soon?

[QueenB3blue]

I am so sorry 2boys

You are not crazy for feeling the way you do. I was in the exact mindset after my mmc also.

You could call the day you started bleeding cd 1 I think. Just know that everything is crazy after a mc and each one is different. It seemed like I bled forever and I was extremely frustrated that I would never ovulate. Once I had an ultrasound that showed I had passed mostly everything I had weekly hcg draws to make sure my levels were going down. Once my hcg hit 8.8 I got a positive opk 3 days later. That was 5 weeks after my bleeding started. It felt like forever though!
I did pick LE back up after my first ultrasound that showed things were not right. I took iron 3x a week while I was bleeding. And I started the cardio after I passed the most of things.

Again, I am so sorry. My DH and I chose to keep our pregnancy quiet. So no one knew. We haven't told anyone about any of it. Honestly I think that has helped me somewhat. I never had to worry about anyone feeling sorry or bad for me, which would have made me more upset. AND I didn't have to explain to my boys what happened. That would have been the worst for me.

Just know you are not alone and there is lots of us here to confide in.

[tarasue]

Like queenb said, after a miscarriage I think it's hard to know where you are at in your cycle. I started bleeding two weeks ago with my mmc, dnc done a week and a half ago. I just spotted after the dnc, and that only lasted 3 days.. I don't know my hcg levels now, but I feel like I will ovulate this week sometime, just based on my symptoms. I have opk's and hcg tests coming in the mail tomorrow. The pregnancy tests are the super early tests, they are positive at 10 hcg. I'm anxious to see if they still come back positive now.

I am ready to ttc right away! I feel like the quicker I am pregnant again the quicker this empty void is hopefully filled. We hadn't told anyone we were pregnant when all of this came about. I had to tell my parents so they could watch my 2 & 3 yr old boys. I felt a huge weight lifted off my chest, just having told my mom what was happening- that has been my biggest relief so far. I am letting my body have at least one full cycle to hopefully heal from the dnc/cytotec. My dr said we didn't have to wait but two weeks after the dnc to try again. I have kept up my cardio through the pregnancy and miscarriage. The le diet has been thrown out the window at least until Christmas is over. I hope to get back on track after that. Other than diet and cardio, we will just stick to bd every 3-4 days and I am taking my prenatal plus extra folic acid. Not the greatest sway, but I want a healthy baby more at this point than necessarily a girl. Don't get me wrong a healthy girl would be ideal!!

I read in a different post of yours how your three year olds comment was all the therapy you need. I can so relate. My three year old asks me several times a day if I'm happy now... I spent a lot of the past couple pretty weepy. He tells me he just wants me to be happy and not sick anymore because he loves me. That makes my heart smile.

I wish you comfort and strength! See you in the jan tww or feb tww pages??

[bluebonnet22]

Huge hugs! For my loss, I only bled for 4-5 days (I considered the first day of bleeding to be CD1) and I ovulated nearly on time (I think around CD16-CD17). My doctor did an ultrasound on me around CD7 to make sure everything had passed and once she confirmed and gave me the all clear I began DTD every 4 days. I went back on LE and exercise as soon as the bleeding had stopped (CD5), but we did not end up conceiving the first cycle. Our attempts ended up being on O-3 and O+1 so I think our timing was less than ideal. We conceived the first cycle after my first AF . I hope you get a sticky BFP very soon, I know for me I wasn't fully over our loss until I moved on with a new pregnancy.

[mommymachine]

I conceived my DD2 after 2 back to back loses. I did not wait for a cycle. I ovulated on March 8th after starting to bleed on February 20th. So 16 days ish?

[atomic sagebrush]

http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...scarriage.html

You can't think about cycle days after a miscarriage. There is no pattern and everyone's experience is gonna be different. My advice is to do the every 4 day method after a loss.

I honestly don't know the answer to what sways more, a loss or diet/exercise and it's probably different for each individual anyway.

[2boysJustOneGirl]

http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...scarriage.html

You can't think about cycle days after a miscarriage. There is no pattern and everyone's experience is gonna be different. My advice is to do the every 4 day method after a loss.

I honestly don't know the answer to what sways more, a loss or diet/exercise and it's probably different for each individual anyway.

Thanks I was thinking the every 4 day method would be easier at this point.

I think I read somewhere on here that conceiving after a loss sways 80%, according to the stats. I was just wondering if that was the only sway tactic used or if the women in those stats also did LE diet and cardio.

[atomic sagebrush]

Well, it's a relatively small sample size (13 of 16) and I just don't want you to look at it as an 80% guarantee because we do not know that. In order to know that, we would need a study on hundreds, if not thousands of people doing nothing else to sway. I'm sure some of them were doing diet/cardio but remember, they all had been pregnant recently so probably not as strictly as others.

Many, many people tried to catch that first egg and weren't able to. We haven't tracked results from 2 cycles after m/c, or 3, and those may still be pink friendly. I just don't want you to put too much emphasis on the importance of getting pg right away and get all "Martha" over it, you don't need to get pg right away to get a girl. ((((Hugs))))

[2boysJustOneGirl]

Thanks for explaining. You are right. At this point I wonder if we should undergo genetic testing before we try to conceive. Having two healthy kids should indicate another is possible but what if due to many circumstances we are bound to have a baby with a genetic disease. Like who knows?!? As you said before DNA and genes are just so individual and unique and unexplainable.

[atomic sagebrush]

I think that you are overthinking it. Virtually every woman has at least one miscarriage over the course of her life, I know very few people who haven't. IT is all but certain it was just sheer bad luck and nothing beyond that. I know when it happens it makes you stop and wonder and worry but like I said, the miracle is that it happens as rarely as it does, given all the stars that have to be perfectly in alignment for a successful pregnancy to occur.

Huge (((Hugs))), I know it sucks though.