Did you keep it to yourself or tell?

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh Immi, i"m so sorry.

[mommymachine]

Immi I am so sorry. I am glad the physical part is behind you.

[Hitmebabyonemoretime]

Im so very sorry, I've been in your shoes sister. Right down the Dh being emotionless. They just sometimes don't know how to deal.... Sucks for us though big hugs mama


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[LacePrincess]

((((Immi))))) So much hugs, again. I am so damned sorry you're having a loss too. It sucks absolute balls and it's hell. I'm going to send you a PM with my gmail info if you ever want to chat, it's so lonely I know, and I know it helps me to be able to talk about it.

To answer your question, this time I did tell people. My first loss no one knew except my hubby, my MIL (we're really close and she was the only one outside of DH that knew we got a BFP), and my doctor. My doctor's office were MORONS but that's a story for another day - they ended up just making me feel worse on an already craptastic day.

I regretted keeping it all to myself. It was so hard, and so lonely. This time around we hadn't told a lot of people about our bfp (just my best friends and MIL again) but when we lost the baby we made a subtle facebook announcement. I realize some people might've thought badly of us, but really? I didn't give a flying f*ck. My baby MATTERED. My RE called it a chemical (I HATE THAT TERM) because we didn't get to our first u/s, but to us, it was a BABY. And the first one, definitely a chemical (I was only 4 days late on AF then) was still a baby to me. Both my angels mattered.

And while nothing will bring them back to me, acknowledging that they existed to the world, even if only for a few days in my womb, was healing to me. It does make me feel better for ME to say yes, they were important! Maybe no one else thinks so, but I do, and I am not afraid to say it to the world. It made me feel worse to keep it secret, like they didn't matter. They do. Your angels do too.

Anyways, after that FB announcement, I got a few pm's from some friends telling us about their own stories of infertility and loss, and now I have more 'IF sisters' that I can lean on. And without that post I would've never known! Women just don't talk about this stuff in our society and it's a real shame. It helps a whole TON to feel like you're not alone.

[WannaGirl]

Hi,

Sorry to hear about your hospital experience, sounds like what I went through (at home) thank god the kids weren't home. Good that you got good service from staff too by not waiting.
Glad to hear you don't have to wait 3 months, I was told to do that so waited 4, then miscarried again! I was so cross at waiting for nothing! Hope hubby comes around for you xx

[adnilleinad]

Oh just read this, I'm so so sorry!

[purple]

Sorry you aren't getting much support from your hubby. As others have said, some men just don't know what to do or say. When I was randomly crying after my miscarriage DH would ask me "what's wrong?" which was really annoying as I was obviously upset about losing the baby and also getting over a traumatic experience at the hospital.

Anyways, sorry for rambling, just needed somewhere to get it out I guess.
For ladies who have been through a d and c - how long did it take to get your period back?

Both times I have had a d/c my period returned 6 weeks later.


Once again, I'm really sorry about your loss Take care.

[ImmiNAddi]

Thank you ladies xox

My husband is still being a real jerk - so much so that I think it may be over for us The only thing keeping me going was the thought that I would try again - but he has said he doesn't want another child (takes up too much of his precious time and he wants 'an easy life' - pfft - should of thought about that before having any kids I say!)

Anyways, today is the first time I have been out of bed since the surgery - mostly because of the bad flu I got at the same time. I am going to start clearing out my gear so if I need to leave I will have minimal things to have to take with me. I have NO idea whether I should take the boys or not.... too much to think about

[atomic sagebrush]

oh no I'm so sorry. Let me know if you need to talk - I've been there myself a time or two.

[twointow83]

Hugs immi so sorry you are going through that.

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