Seriously. ..the WORST luck? *another loss*

[SweetLily]

So I'm back.

After our 17 w loss in march I sent 6 months getting healthy again and ttc. Got pregnant in September and lost the baby a few weeks ago at 15w. I have 4 Normal healthy children...why is it so hard now??!!!

The first was a case of severe chorioamnionitis (amniotic fluid infection) that i got from ecoli food poisoning and this time I had a SCH that tore a bit. It had been a few days since the tear (I felt it but thought I was being paranoid so didn't even call the Dr ) and there was no hb at my regular ob appt. The amniotic fluid was FULL of blood.

I had them induce me--surprisingly painful still at 15w but maybe I was being a baby cause I was so shocked an emotional? But I still got a uterine infection as I had to have a d&c any way for retained tissue.

Anyway...I'm 40.5 years old now and we want to try again (I'm must be out if my stupid mind) . Very soon--im 3 w post loss and will wait 1 cycle to happen naturally since I was on a lot if antibiotics...but would you do it? All the Dr's are saying both cases were really just bad luck and it's fine to ttc again. ..you ladies know a lot about fertility so I wanted the check with you.

We would prefer a girl but ANY live baby would be welcomed and loved with open arms...if we do go ahead would it be better to just start trying next month? Or should I wait several months? My Dr said wait til next cycle since I had the uterine infection (at least).

That said we have not gotten the autopsy back and don't know if there was anything wrong at all. I know at my age risks are higher but I also know you're much more fertile after a loss.

Any thoughts on this from anyone? I feel like I need good advice from other moms in the know!

Atomic...what do you think hun? Anchor?

Ladies thank you. I'm sorry to come on here whining with a sob story but I really need advice.

Hugs to all of you.

[Erin514]

Omg, sweetlily I remember your posts on your previous m/s and I am so very sorry to hear you had another loss. After all you went through before this just seems particularly unfair.
In your shoes, since it seems it was a fluke both times, I would still want to try again but wait until your doctor clears you after the infection. I don't think you're crazy! It doesn't seem like anything that happened is linked to your age, just terribly bad luck. You'll be in my thoughts.

[atomic sagebrush]

I'm sorry to make you go over all this but can you tell me what herbs you're on?

Aspirin? Any other medication?

I just want to give you the best advice I can.

Usually I like people to wait a cycle whenever there is a D and C and 2 cycles if you're into the 2nd tri.

I'm so very sorry for your loss, you have truly been through the ringer and are a superhero to want to try again. Remember I got my girl when I was 41 and a half, it is possible.

[1moregirl]

Good Lord Sweetlily. My heart aches for you. Enduring 2 losses after the first trimester (when yuo think things are going to be ok after the first trimester is done) and the CPs. I really admire your strength and courage to want to ttc again. No Mum is silly for wanting to try again. No matter what the age or how many children we already have. The heart wants what the heart wants. I'm 45 and just completed a decent ttc attempt and sometimes I think I must be mad. But I did have my last (have 3 children) 2 months before I turned 41. So don't give up. Can I ask a question though....what did you mean when yuo felt something 'tear' prior to getting the SCH?

[SweetLily]

Atomic I wasn't taking anything but prenatal, Ubiquinol and folic.

I found huge research papers that aspirin (which the fertility clinic put me on both times ) causes SCH in 40% of users as opposed to 10% naturally and to deal with it you need blood thicjeners--not more aspirin.

I didn't have any complications this pregnancy right to the loss.

I did feel a tearing sensation in my belly a couple of days before the loss. It wasn't very painful so I chalked it up to round ligament pain and didn't even call the Dr.

Thanks for all your thoughts ladies, I sincerely appreciate your perspectives.

Next try there will be NO ASPIRIN EVER! Not sure if that had anything to do with it but it's highly suspect.

BTW Atomic I am taking Ubiquinol, royal jelly and folic this time but that's it. I used codiene after the loss --the infection caused major uterine pain. Will that damage my eggs?

Anyway thank you again all of you.

[atomic sagebrush]

I agree and I am no longer using aspirin except for those who insist upon it. Partly for this reason and partly for others

I would not have you take RJ because I've found it does nothing beneficial and really messes up people's cycles. I would much rather you just take your folic (and let's do folate instead if poss) a and a DHA supp designed for pregnancy, and continue prenatal 2-3 days a week. this is pretty much what is in the RJ without the risks and side effects.

[SweetLily]

Huh. Ok I am on folate I should have specified. What is dha? I know there's one--I think dhea that is banned in Canada and we can't get it. I've avoided it for some of the"don't use if" rules. Is dha the same thing? And take a prenatal every 3 days? Even for girl?

Appreciate the advice Atomic thank you.

[atomic sagebrush]

Huh. Ok I am on folate I should have specified. What is dha? I know there's one--I think dhea that is banned in Canada and we can't get it. I've avoided it for some of the"don't use if" rules. Is dha the same thing? And take a prenatal every 3 days? Even for girl?

Appreciate the advice Atomic thank you.

DHA is NOT DHEA, sorry two different things. DHA is just a kind of essential fatty acid that is often taken by pregnant women during pregnancy. I believe it's available in Canada as many of my swayers do take it.

The folate may be more effective if you take it with some other B vitamins (which is what the RJ has in it, but it's not safe and will mess up your cycle possibly). Additionally you've been through so much I think it may be a smart move. You need to get successfully prenant now and since you may be pretty depleted, I just think it's a good precaution.

[Throwaway_panther]

Oh no, seeing your username by this post made my heart fall. I'm so, so sorry SweetLily for your loss. And you were not being a baby for being induced even at 15w! You are quite strong to have gone that route -- labor is labor!

As atomic said, you're not out of the game yet. You HAVE had healthy children, and even being over 40 you've had pregnancies make it to the second trimester -- you might, as you said, have had some very unfortunate luck. I believe you can still get a healthy baby; are you seeing an RE at all? I see in your sig you had 6 years of chemicals, which outside of age could have some sort of medical factor to it.

[SweetLily]

I saw the ob yesterday for a check up after the infection and had an ultrasound too. Everything looks good and sge encouraged us not to wait but to start trying again next cycle. I'm going to give it one more cycle to feel better. The baby was a perfect little girl, nothing wrong at all. It was gutting to hear that.

I will find some dha then Atomic and take that. I just don't want to go supplement crazy, I'm sick of pills ��

Thanks for the advice and we'll wishes ladies, truly appreciate it.