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March 13th, 2017, 12:17 AM
#1
pregnant after miscarriage - how do I feel happy again?
Hi all,
I had a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks & a D&C in december. I am finally pregnant again but I just dont feel excited or happy about this pregnancy. I really want this baby but I just dont have the happiness inside me this time. I am probably just worried about having another miscarriage but I just don't know how to get past this. I have tried all sorts of things to focus on this baby, looking at baby things in shops but I just dont feel anything. Just numb really like there is no point looking.
I have booked in for a scan in 2 weeks time for peace of mind but I would love to know if you have been through something similar & what helped you.
mummy to
10yrs &
8yrs.
7weeks dec 2016
4yrs.
After 2 failed sways we are going high tech
May 2019 IVF1 4 follicle, 4 fertilised & only 1 made it to day 5
JUly 2019 IVF2 8 follicles, 3 fertilised & only 1 made it to day 6
frozen & waiting for us
our precious
was a failed FET
.
IVF3 1 day 5
2020
COVID halts our plans & we cant travel
2021
6 more egg collections yeild 17eggs in total. Frozen gametes shipped to clinic & 16 survive the thaw & only 3 fertilised. None to test on day 5
Jan 2022
this wasnt the plan.......
Feb 2022
stopped growing & left me at 8weeks
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March 13th, 2017, 06:15 AM
#2
Dream Vet
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March 15th, 2017, 05:29 PM
#3
Swaying Advice Coach
Huge (((Hugs)))) Kc, I don't have any advice. Just take it one day at a time. Thinking of you.
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Post Thanks / Like - 1 Thanks, 0 Likes, 0 Dislikes
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May 3rd, 2017, 01:54 AM
#4
Just to touch base & say I am 12weeks now. Im still finding it hard to even think that I am pregnant. It doesnt consume my every thought like it did with my boys. I have had 2 scans (at 7 & 10 weeks) & I do feel more reassured but still finding it hard to feel any connection. I dont really have any pregnancy symptoms either so it just doesnt feel real at all. I am still waiting on m NIPT results & I am having another scan in 2 weeks. I am hoping it starts to feel more real once I start showing & I feel it move.
mummy to
10yrs &
8yrs.
7weeks dec 2016
4yrs.
After 2 failed sways we are going high tech
May 2019 IVF1 4 follicle, 4 fertilised & only 1 made it to day 5
JUly 2019 IVF2 8 follicles, 3 fertilised & only 1 made it to day 6
frozen & waiting for us
our precious
was a failed FET
.
IVF3 1 day 5
2020
COVID halts our plans & we cant travel
2021
6 more egg collections yeild 17eggs in total. Frozen gametes shipped to clinic & 16 survive the thaw & only 3 fertilised. None to test on day 5
Jan 2022
this wasnt the plan.......
Feb 2022
stopped growing & left me at 8weeks
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Post Thanks / Like - 0 Thanks, 1 Likes, 0 Dislikes
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May 3rd, 2017, 11:09 AM
#5
Swaying Advice Coach
I think even aside from having a loss, the more kiddos you've had, the less it eats up your every waking thought. I would forget I was pregnant sometimes with my later kids!
I never felt connected to my pregnancies either. I love my babies of course but it was never this feeling of closeness that some women experience.
Sending and hopefully once things progress this feeling will pass for you.
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Post Thanks / Like - 0 Thanks, 1 Likes, 0 Dislikes
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May 4th, 2017, 05:51 AM
#6
that makes perfect sense atomic! I think I am often so busy it is the last thing on my mind. I cant say I was connected to DS1 at all during his pregnancy - happy & I though about it heaps but I didnt bond as such until I met him. Thanks for your wise words xx
mummy to
10yrs &
8yrs.
7weeks dec 2016
4yrs.
After 2 failed sways we are going high tech
May 2019 IVF1 4 follicle, 4 fertilised & only 1 made it to day 5
JUly 2019 IVF2 8 follicles, 3 fertilised & only 1 made it to day 6
frozen & waiting for us
our precious
was a failed FET
.
IVF3 1 day 5
2020
COVID halts our plans & we cant travel
2021
6 more egg collections yeild 17eggs in total. Frozen gametes shipped to clinic & 16 survive the thaw & only 3 fertilised. None to test on day 5
Jan 2022
this wasnt the plan.......
Feb 2022
stopped growing & left me at 8weeks
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Post Thanks / Like - 0 Thanks, 1 Likes, 0 Dislikes
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May 4th, 2017, 04:19 PM
#7
Swaying Advice Coach
Me too! I was certainly excited by the idea but I did not feel any kind of one on one connection with my first either. Then he came out and I thought "OMG it's a BABY!!" I didn't fully realize till that very moment that there was an actual small person that would be there, like FOREVER LOL. I didn't really feel that insane mama love till he was about a week old and then once it took hold it completely consumed me, but I sure didn't feel it during pregnancy.
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July 26th, 2017, 02:33 PM
#8
Originally Posted by
kc15880
Hi all,
I had a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks & a D&C in december. I am finally pregnant again but I just dont feel excited or happy about this pregnancy. I really want this baby but I just dont have the happiness inside me this time. I am probably just worried about having another miscarriage but I just don't know how to get past this. I have tried all sorts of things to focus on this baby, looking at baby things in shops but I just dont feel anything. Just numb really like there is no point looking.
I have booked in for a scan in 2 weeks time for peace of mind but I would love to know if you have been through something similar & what helped you.
Hello, Honey. First, Congratulations on your pregnancy. Second, I don't think it is not good not to be excited about your pregnancy. You shouldn't let the past affect the future. In everything, If something bad happened you need to forget it, Remembering it won't change what have happened. Live your life happily, And hopefully. Be sure that you won't lose your current pregnancy, And you won't.. I hope the best for you and a life full of joy.
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Post Thanks / Like - 0 Thanks, 1 Likes, 0 Dislikes
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August 6th, 2017, 04:55 AM
#9
Hi, I know how that feels. And I can tell you that trying to find happiness or excitement from looking at things in a baby shop may work for some people, but that's not a solution. You will find that feeling of excitement and happiness within you. It is just a matter of getting the right support that you need to be able to shift your focus from the past to what's good in the present. For me, it was the support I received from my husband and the people around me that helped me get through my depressing phase when I had discovered I couldn't conceive. I am so happy to hear about your pregnancy. It really makes me feel very happy when I hear about women getting pregnant and I can understand what you are going through after you had a rough past. But I really want you to stay happy and positive and believe me, being in present and with your husband is all you need. All the best.
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August 11th, 2017, 10:04 PM
#10
Swaying Advice Coach
I cannot imagine what would possess a person to post spam in a person's loss-related forum thread.
And, I am extremely good at spotting spam at this point, even when you try to make it look like something else, even when you post 17 benign general messages under 10 different names. Your username(s) go(es) onto my special list and I watch your username like a hawk and delete ur account at the first hard evidence that you're a spammer, even if you are very sneaky and sly about it at first.
Congratulations! I am so happy for you now you can feel compeet!
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