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  1. #1
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    Exclamation Desperate for a take home baby :-(

    Iíve made other posts but wanted to make one more specific to my loss

    Iím breastfeeding two babies currently
    16 months and 2.5 years

    When baby was 10 months I got pregnant with baby 6 after a couple of cycles since my period had returned

    My cycles initially were wonky likely due to getting my period back

    I was 39 3/4 at the time so Iím hoping thatís evidence at least that I can still get pregnant at this age.

    We only saw a flicker of a low heartbeat and I miscarries naturally (mistake - took forever)

    I had no pain at all at any point for that Iím thankful

    I passed the sac 12/28 and bled until 1/21 (felt like an eternity)

    I had hcg linger longer then normal and my first af took until Feb 21st to start (preceded by 3 days of lite spotting)

    I did have a pos opk prior to that af and I had negatives before it so it wasnít hcg

    However I did pass large tissue in the first af so looking back maybe I wasnít really even able to conceive anyway?

    Same happened with My March af - passed a large 2Ēx1Ē glob of tissue at the end of af

    Iím trying to work out how many cycles Iíve been trying

    Iím hoping itís not as long as it is on paper due to the longer cycles and passing of tissue

    So I had af these dates and pos opks

    12/28 passed the sac
    1/13 hcg still 396
    *Passing lots of miscarriage tissue still*
    1/17 no more tissue / blood from here
    1/19 negative opk (hcg gone)
    2/6 first pos opk after zero hcg confirmed (cd41 from passing the sac)
    2/21 af (11 dpo spotting 12dpo full flow) passed miscarriage tissue?
    3/6 cd14 pos opk
    3/21 af (12dpo spotting 13dpo full flow) passed miscarriage tissue?
    4/6 cd17 pos opk
    4/21 af (13dpo spotting 14dpo full flow)
    5/8 cd18 pos opk
    5/23 af (13dpo spotting 14dpo full flow)
    6/7 cd16 pos opk

    Am I in trouble here? Is this normal after a loss for it to take longer?
    Do I toss the first few cycles?


    I turned 40 this past March.
    Im a complete mess emotionally and desperately want to get pregnant

    And advice? Can someone over 40 have a loss and still go on to have a take home baby?

    Thank you

  2. #2
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    I had two miscarriages and a chemical pregnancy before my current one. I’m 40 and almost 27 weeks.
    DH (43), DW (40)

    2011
    2012
    2013
    2014
    2016
    2018
    Due 2021

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  4. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by BunnyGirl19 View Post
    I had two miscarriages and a chemical pregnancy before my current one. Iím 40 and almost 27 weeks.
    I hope you know how helpful that reply is. Itís such a comfort to read. Iím
    So sorry for your losses

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  6. #4
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    Our kids are all very similar in age!

    Iíve got
    2010,12,14, break for surgery lol 18, 20 would
    Have had 21 but miscarried ttc for 2022 with all Iíve got

    I really hoped for 8 but Iím struggling to get a 6th now I guess

    Iím praying for multiples to make up for lost time haha

    Clomid next cycle if not pregnant now

    Iím
    7dpo

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  8. #5
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    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
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    If your HCG was zero it is more likely that what looked like tissue was just a buildup of lining. This can happens sometimes after a loss. It can still mean that you weren't able to conceive before that, though. Sometimes you have an anovulatory cycle after a loss where you do not ovulate and just have the lining come off anyway. It is entirely likely you weren't fertile in Feb. at all. March, April, May do seem like possibly fertile cycles.

    But I do want to reassure you that you absolutely CAN have a take home baby. I had two losses, one at 39 (this was twins, so I only lost one and did have a baby that time) and in my early 40's and had a baby at 42.
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  9. #6
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    Did we talk about Clomid in another thread??
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  10. #7
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    We did!

    I didnít have fsh tested tho

    Honestly Iím petrified to have levels taken because if they are low/high I will stress eternally over it. I already feel broken without knowing.

    I asked my dr about clomid the other day and itís affect on older women.

    She said itís short lived in the system and has no affect outside of the cycle itís taken and the biggest gamble is possible hyper stimulation chance of multiples

    Is that really the case?

    Will I know if clomid is no good for me the cycle I take it? Like does it make older women sick? Screw up the cycle? Etc

  11. #8
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    I did have tissue mass come away in my March af as well. Not as large as the feb one but still a bigger size, 2Ēx1Ē would that have signaled a possible annovulatory cycles as well?

    I wish I hadnít gone with a natural mc :-( it dragged out too long and I feel stupid for not pushing for meds

    It was a high stress time as I was losing my grandfather whom Iíve always been very close to at the same time as my loss - just hell.

    Plus nursing the two babies and Iím not sure if they somehow knew there was a loss and it triggered them to nurse more frequently to help my uterus pass things or what but they certainly nursed much more during and the first few weeks

    My ob has tried to reassure me sheís been great

    She has a lot of over 40 mums naturally getting pregnant and successfully delivering so she keeps telling me that with proven (recent) fertility I need to just relax and itís going to happen

    She said she doesnít beleive I need clomid at all but she also said it may kickstart something if something has been ďoffĒ

    I get nervous about meds but really Iím just so desperate

    Iím 9dpo and havenít tested but I just figure Iím not pregnant again this cycle.

  12. #9
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    I understand that. I'm ok with you not getting tested if that is your preference. The numbers are not as meaningful as people think of them as, and so often when you get tested, you end up very upset over numbers that do not have any real bearing on your ability to conceive anyway.

    No, your doctor isn't right about that. Clomid causes FSH to go up and this is going to mess with egg quality in older moms because our FSH is already on the higher end. Now, this doesn't mean you can't use it, but you do need to be aware of the possibility or I wouldn't be doing my job! But she is right that it will be out of your system shortly, so if you wanted to try it a couple months, it won't keep yoru FSH up indefinitely, it will return to normal in the future cycles.

    You do have a higher chance of multiples but it's VERY rare to have more than twins on the 50 mg dose most people are given. I've never seen a case of higher order multiples in 10 years, and only one case of triplets on Clomid (and I believe that was on 100 mg, I'd have to look it up!)

    You would not know that the Clomid had any negative effect. You wouldn't feel any different. It would simply be that the egg from that cycle would not get fertilized or it would be fertilized and end in chemical pregnancy due to poor quality. But of course those things can and do happen even without Clomid, so there's no way to know without the FSH test to see how it's affecting you.
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  13. #10
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    I'm so sorry you were going through all that.

    It's not the tissue that causes anovulatory cycles, it happens all the time to people the first cycle after a miscarriage.

    I agree COMPLETELY with your OB. We see tons of people having babies at 40+, even as late as 42/43 we are seeing good rates of conception as long as a woman has proven fertility. Honestly I had such an easy pregnancy and birth at 41/42 it made my pregnancies in my 20's pale in comparison!

    Absolutely correct about the Clomid - even if you don't technically NEED it, it may help kickstart your body back into regular cycles. I would consider giving it a whirl for a month or two and then we can reassess. Like I said it will leave your system in future so there's no long lasting ill effect.
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