Please Delete

[Complex Emotions]

I'm sorry for messing up this forum and deleting my posts. I appreciated everyone who took the time to respond to what I wrote. Thank you for your support and your thoughts. It's time for me to put this behind me now.

[kc15880]

something to consider - have you asked hubby how often he "releases" on his own? after months of trying with a short luteal phase I found out that hubby was releasing everyday on his own. Once I put him on a strict E3d self release pattern we fell pregnant first month of 1 attempt at +opk. We are so quick to blame ourselves but it takes 2 to make a baby!

[atomic sagebrush]

DO NOT take vitex. PLEASE. Vitex only helps people who are not conceiving due to PCOS tendencies. I believe you have the exact opposite problem and vitex would be throwing gasoline on the fire. I know it's hard to believe when a midwife says something different than some woman on the Internet, but I truly believe that due to the unique circumstances we have going on on this site, I"m in a special place to understand better how vitex works and I promise you the vitex is a bad idea.

You need the Clomid. Get a different doctor. It is 110% medically indicated for you. Tons of docs prescribe Clomid in exactly this situation because it may make what they call a "strong ovulation" (not totally sure I believe this expression but it does SOMETHING that helps people get pregnant) Even with regular cycles, even with ovulation, doctors prescribe it for people who've been TTC a long time. Plus it also raises progesterone levels for most people which may be at least part of the problem if not the trouble entirely.

Just to be absolutely sure we're leaving no stone unturned here, are you guys doing ANYTHING else to sway?? Shallow release, J and D? I ask because I've had a surprising number of people who actually were still doing those two things and never thought to mention them. If you are not doing J and D but are staying laying down after sex, make sure you do part of that time on your belly just in case it helps.

Peppermint tea? Another thing I keep finding out people were doing even after I asked them to drop everything.

I am going to echo what KC mentioned and suggest a sperm analysis for your husband. I know most guys will balk at this but it's happened quite a few times (20-30 times at least) that someone is not getting pregnant with swaying and it ends up being their husband. It can happen even if he's just gotten you pregnant within the past few years!

One other suggestion is an HSG to make sure your tubes are open. Sometimes the egg is just not getting through and even if there is no actual blockage, for reasons we don't totally know, the HSG sometimes seems to lead to people getting pregnant very shortly after (may just be coincidence, but does happen often enough so even I wonder if there is something to it).

[atomic sagebrush]

The next step is SA and HSG though. It doesn't have to be you casting blame onto him. It is simply the steps a couple goes through in this situation.

I wrote that essay over 6 years ago. I have subsequently witnessed hundreds, if not thousands of Clomid cycles and in all that time I have had ONE person who had such low estrogen that their lining was not right on Clomid. Please don't take the warning that I have to throw out there because I don't want to get sued LOL and then imagine that it applies to you, when you have no proof that it does, and even IF it does, it doesn't matter because the majority of people, even if their estrogen is low, will still have good results with Clomid, and those that don't can be given Femara (I really should have written Clomid or Femara in my previous answer to you) instead or supplemental estrogen. Low estrogen is a fixable issue and it should not keep anyone from at least investigating other options. The vast majority of other docs would have already given you Clomid, it is medically indicated for you.

I have infinite levels of respect for what docs and midwives do but yeah, this is the same thing that happens to EVERYONE. They don't know how to help people in this situation and it's a money pit. You walk away with the midwife telling you "vitex" and the doc telling you "prenatal" or "gain 5 lbs". It has happened to so many people. And yes, they can do all the testing and that's what they'll (probably) say is "oh no your AMH you need IVF" and make you feel like you can never get pregnant. But 99% of all my clients who were told this, went on to get pregnant ANYWAY. In a couple cases, TWICE! So I agree with your analysis that unless you are planning to do IVF there is very little point in pursuing it. BUT, it may be a stepping stone to getting the HSG and/or Clomid/Femara so it may be something that you could do, with the thought in mind that "ok they'll probably try to scare the liver out of me here and tell me I'm infertile, but I'm just doing this to reach my goal of HSG or Femara and I'll not take them seriously."

And until then, I will urge you to keep going with the full fat dairy, eggs, and salmon if you like it, red meat if you don't. I know it seems like a little thing, but it does help over the course of time. Your body WANTS to get pregnant, it is trying to change things to allow that to happen, but we need those raw materials on board to give it what it needs.

[atomic sagebrush]

I would have had you on SMEP by now. I would have had you go to e4d plus one, then to e3d, and then to SMEP by now (probably quite a few months ago). So THAT is the one tangible thing that is obvious and clearly needs to be changed (and apologies if I missed this somewhere along the way)

RE diet - the thing is, that's what tons of people say. They got pregnant before at lower weights, eating less, etc but it doesn't MATTER. That was years ago and you may have been eating more than you think anyway or have had some other issue going on, plus there's also the stress pressure of swaying that messes with people's heads. The stress alone can delay or even stop O. Eat more!

It is fine that you don't want to go in just yet. Totally up to you (especially now that I know you've been doing e4d all this time.) Let's give it a few more months with gradually increasing the BD amounts and see what happens.

[atomic sagebrush]

I've seen people get pregnant with a LP regularly of 7-9 days. I really do think this may help matters to start moving forward with more BD. But I'm glad that it may have given some time for the anxiety to fade a little bit, I hope it's reassuring to have a plan to improve odds of conception moving forward.

[onelastsway]

I could have written your post myself so I just wanted to say I totally sympathise. With both my boys we got pregnant first try and now it's been 6 months - my LP has also gone from about 14 days to 10 at the highest. We had really well timed attempts this month (e4d) and I felt so confident but my temp dropped today right on time for AF and I can feel the cramps starting so am sure AF will be here any minute now. It's so disheartening to keep going through the BFN. I've relaxed the diet a lot in past week and temps have been more consistently high (am also a slow riser). My BMI is still about 18.5 though so wonder if that's part of it. My sis and mum had endometriosis so worry that may be silently lurking inside me but don't want to have the general anaesthetic and op to find out. Hubby says it's a sign that we should stick to our two boys (one has special needs so they are a real handful). Part of me agrees but I'm so gutted every time AF comes I wonder if I am able to just let the dream go or whether I'll always be sad about not having that third. I don't feel i can face any more time on the diet - i've given up the exercise it was just too stressful - but at the same time, i really want a girl. Anyway, just wanted to say you aren't alone. Doc won't prescribe anything because progesterone levels were really good when tested and I too am terrified of prospect of twins x

[atomic sagebrush]

Remember though, it is OK to just RELAX on the diet, ladies.

Sometimes people get into this all or nothing mindset with LE Diet that is unwarranted where they're either going way, way too far with it, or they give up totally. There is a huge middle ground in between those extremes. Please just let go of some stuff starting with the things that are bothering you the most. Increase cals, up protein and fat limits or even stop counting totally and just go vegetarian. It is FINE to do that!

[atomic sagebrush]

And gain a couple pounds back! You need it! We have not found those small weight fluctuations to be predictive of who gets a girl and who gets a boy.

[onelastsway]

And gain a couple pounds back! You need it! We have not found those small weight fluctuations to be predictive of who gets a girl and who gets a boy.

Well turns out I was pregnant but it was a chemical as really bleeding now. Was a late implantation so was prepared for it but still really hurts. Never had any sort of miscarriage before and am convinced the swaying caused it which is hard to take. Please tell me what to do now for the best. I still want best shot at pink but want healthy baby of course. Do I start exercise again? Do strict LE again (I struggle to maintain or put on weight when vegetarian - should I just eat empty calories like cake???!) Help. After being so happy to be pregnant I know this is what i want. Terrified of causing myself to miscarry again though. Feels like my selfish dream for a girl has ruined my fertility.