Why I'm not finding out

[deaks66]

I think when people say girl congrats, they are actually trying to show you sympathy by trying to be positive for you. It would be worse if they said girl, so sorry for you. At the end of the day we all gamble with gd but whatever bean chooses to stick is still a wonderful thing even if we are initially disappointed. Ive been there (twice) and no amount of gentleness really makes any difference and personally i think its better for people to be upfront with their guesses rather than make a biased guess based on your desire... which does happen. Not necessarily on this site but it does happen.

[ELP]

Please also remember op that some of the ladies guessing for you may have gone through agony to hopefully get the guesses your getting, so for them the words girl! Congratulations! is actually breaking their heart, their not being mean

[harleyquinn]

Personally, I will always answer with a blue or pink bear from now on forth.

You JUST CAN'T win and I seriously know what men feel like sometimes

Last week, I thought I very empathetically offered some support for hearing the "wrong" gender, a nice "xo" and "sorry if it wasn't what you wanted to hear" and I got yelled at that for that...even after reading multiple GDish posts....I dunno.

Its best to stick with the bear and a congrats!

[hotdogz&boyz]

The thing is is that is impossible for any one of us (guessers, fellow GD or Gender-hopeful mamas) to know where someone sits on the GD spectrum. Some women want their baby rejoiced with a congrats regardless of gender. Some would prefer condolences, some want guesses to be straight forward and easy to read, some want more gentle responses. Saying "I am hoping for a boy" beforehand obviously gives some clue as to the gender hopes. But doesn't tell me if you want me to say just "girl" or "girl, so sorry" or "girl, hope your GD is short-lived" or "girl, what a blessing" or "girl, delighted for you." Etc, etc, etc.

I certainly try to be my gentlest. And am here to support anyone either suffering from GD, in the process of trying to sway, or any other variation of what brought them here.

But in all honesty, if you can't handle the guesses, it might be best to not post the picture at all. We can't change the outcome of the scan. Or change the gender of your baby. If you really find that seeing a pink bear is killing you, it might be best to remove your post and take time to heal instead of asking for more guesses. In the end, we are 99% amateurs guessing at these sonogram pictures. We can absolutely be wrong, wrong, wrong. But it's not really on us to not only guess on the scan but also on the posters emotional ability to handle the responses. Unless they are explicitly stated...and I have seen them as such.

I am so incredibly sorry that you are struggling with the beast of GD and that the posts in here might have added to it. I hope you come to the peace you are striving for.

[Mulberry Smurf]

I know what you are saying and sorry you were upset - hope that you come to terms with the baby's sex soon. Xx

[black&gold]

I know what you are saying. I've seen so many nub posts recently where it seem like the people either don't really know, but just say the gender they think the person wants to hear - which raises hope when it shouldn't fully be raised, or some come off super confident and it can be hurtful if you are really hoping for something. Let's face it, most of us on here aren't experts and we're just randomly guessing based on things we've seen in the past so it can be a big roller coaster for some people! I don't think anyone on here is ever meaning to come off rude or insensitive.. I think that just happens and maybe people sometimes don't think how their response sounds. I know I personally always say what I *think* it is and why.. and then mention that I am no expert what so ever so I hope they get what they are wanting. I can see where you are coming from for sure, but also from experience on forums I've learned that if you don't want controversial responses to just not ask the questions because people will always let you down - especially if you are overly sensitive to the topic at hand - which GD is for sure one of those for many people. I'm sorry you didn't hear what you wanted, and you certainly aren't alone - plenty have been hearing opposites these days and each time its sad to see! xo