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  1. #11
    Dream Vet
    Wanting a daughter's Avatar
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    I have to be honest, if I'd had two girls I wouldn't be trying for a third. I would have been disappointed not to get 1 of each but I could have lived with it. It's my relationship with my mum that makes me want a girl so bad.
    8 6 wishing for a
    Cycle 1 HRC in June 2011- cancelled cycle, no response at all.
    Cycle 2 at SART start stims Oct 10th Another cancelled cycle. No response.
    Cycle 3 at SART, started stims Dec 31st, cancelled AGAIN.
    Cycle 4 Donor eggs in South Africa May 2012, freezing and shipping to USA for PGD
    FET- 19th July- NT (only 2 normals, both boys)
    Cycle 5 Last shot- donor eggs at Genesis- Cyprus using his sperm sort, Jan 2013 BFN
    FET Feb 2013 BFP Miscarriage @ 6 wks.
    FET June 2013. On metaformin now for Insulin resistance. Mental health starting to border on insanity now. BFN
    FET July 2013. Last embie BFN

    Cycle 6 Really truly last shot- Donor eggs HRC, planned all freeze Feb, 7XX frozen immune treatment for me
    FET May 2014 BFP Miscarriage @ 8 weeks
    FET Nov 2014 BFP Miscarriage @ 12 weeks
    FET Oct 2015 BFP Blighted ovum confirmed @ 8 weeks. Miscarriage.

    SURROGACY!!!!! FET 1xx Feb 4th BFP, HB seen

    My precious baby girl arrived Oct 19th 2016

  2. #12
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    Lilian78's Avatar
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    I always wanted both and never had a strong preference for either gender. And since I'm inclined to like to control the situation, I think there's a good chance we would've done HT for a boy. I did have a very strong desire for a mother-daughter relationship, and never really had a chance to develop that type of obsession for a mother-son relationship because I got it first. I don't see any reason why it wouldn't have been there if I had a girl or two first though. Plus, while DH is loving having a girl more than I ever imagined he would, he's one of those men that would have obsessed over having a son. So I'm thinking we very likely would have done HT if the reverse had happened.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush View Post
    I have tons of sympathy for women who have very strong gender preferences with their first and never get to feel that happiness of getting the gender they want or even just to experience pregnancy without worrying about gender.
    Yeah I hate the fact that I had GD with my first and only child. I had my friend come and pick out everything for him. I was on IG all day and night. I did not enjoy my first pregnancy. I feel awful about it now. Sometimes I feel, even if I ever get a HT girl I should get pregnant again naturally just to enjoy a GD free pregnancy.

    I would not have gone HT for a boy if we had 2 girls. Sad but true. The desire for a daughter was stronger than a son.

    Ofcourse DS is my world now. We are best friends

  4. #14
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    grasshopper's Avatar
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    I would definitely be doing HT if I already had boys...unless DH decided to lift his limit on the number of kids he is willing to have then I would have to do HT to ensure I became a Mum to both genders. I have always wanted both girls and boys and it is very important to me...however, I would happily just keep going naturally until we acheived it rather than HT.
    We get a lot of the "need to carry on the family name" thing...DH is the only boy in his family so the family name really will stop with him if we don't have a boy...that makes me really sad for some reason.
    So HT has to work...otherwise I have to somehow convince DH to try again naturally.

  5. #15
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    Gus's Avatar
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    I feel fortunate, too, that I had no preference with ds1 or 2. By 3 I was getting antsy for a girl, and the doc thought he was one. So that was a let-down, but it was short lived.

    I'm positive that I would've wanted a boy badly had the first 4 been girls. I never had the feeling that I wanted a girl instead of my boys- I wanted one in addition to them.

  6. #16
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    dramabird's Avatar
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    I feel like I have weird answers to this question. On the one hand, if someone had told me, before I had children, "Okay, you're going only have two kids and they have to be the same gender ... what do you choose?" that I think I would have picked two boys (which is what I have) instead of two girls. Even now, if I were to learn that a third pregnancy would be twins, my order of preference would be B/G over G/G (so that we would three sons, one daughter total) ... Partially this is because I never had a sister, only a brother 9 years younger than me. So I was already familiar and comfortable with the whole little boy "gig." And I worry about the competitiveness and self-esteem issues that could happen between two girls (if one was prettier or thinner or more popular, etc.). I know boys compete with each other ("I can run faster!" "I can throw farther!") but not necessarily in a way that really tears them down emotionally -- I'm making broad generalizations, of course.

    On the other hand, if I'd had two girls, I don't know if I would have felt this strong need to have a third child to try for a boy. Frankly, while I'm willing to "risk" a third boy (whom I believe would be smart and handsome and awesome and extraordinarily loved, so not truly a "risk") to get a daughter, I don't know that I would have been willing to end up with three daughters to get a son. I know that seems odd ... I guess I really, really, really want *one* daughter ... but not multiple daughters.

  7. #17
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    For me, culturally, a boy is definitely valued. I do feel like I am not producing something that everyone seems to want me to have. Pregnancies dont come easily to me, all my girls will be 5 years apart. If I would have had to choose, I think DH would have chosen sons, I really dont know. I love my girls and if I am destined to be a girly mommy, so be it. But I really really want a son..........
    2001 2006 2011

  8. #18
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    I am not sure. I always wanted a PP...possibly two boys and then a girl. Once I had two boys, I got worried I would have another one since I know quite a few with 3 of the same sex.

    My A type personality kicked in, I suppose.
    2004 2009

  9. #19
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    I have nothing against little boys (hello, I'm swaying for one!) but I really would have done anything to get my little girl. I was so happy when I found out I was having a daughter--it was the best day of my life, seriously. And I want a son now, but I think I want it more for DH to have that experience.

  10. #20
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    I would definitely still be here wanting a boy. I just want one girl because I don't have one.

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