Just thinking about always being the MIL when I get older...

[Claire33]

One of the main reasons I have GD (I have 3 boys) is the fact that I'm worried about having grown sons vs grown daughters. My own mom keeps going on about how daughters take care of their parents much better than sons do (thanks mom )

Anyway, I was thinking, maybe it could be the other way around: Having a DIL who I treat well of course, will more likely be close to me than a SIL? So if you have a son, you might end up having a devoted son *and* DIL, but if you have a daughter, your SIL might not be as interested as a DIL?

Just a thought, what do you guys think? (All I want is for my children and grandchildren to visit me! )

[GreaseMonkey]

I am the only DIL and my MIL and I are extremely close!! In fact I am more close to her than her DD's and sometimes she likes me more than them...She'll also often take my side over my DH lol My MIL is close to my DH but not to my SIL's. So it can definitely happen, having DD's doesn't mean that they will treat you right and that goes the same way as DS's

I do have 2 DS's and my oldest is 8 so I am hoping when he gets married that I will love his wife as if she was my own!

[atomic sagebrush]

I really think this is a myth. In my family and my husband's, it's been totally the other way around where the daughters move across the country and at least one of the sons stays put and cares for the parents.

My MIL is my best friend in the world and I'm closer to her in many ways than I am with my own mom. I can't wait to be a MIL, I am really excited for that.

[nuthinbutpink]

It's just not true...

http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...t-so-true.html

I have a great relationship with my MIL.

[maidentomother]

I have and have always had an awful relationship with my mother. As a result, I was always excited to meet my boyfriends' mothers and worked to develop close relationships with them whenever possible. It was tragic that the man I ended up falling in love with & marrying, his mother had died 2 years before we met, of cancer. His father remarried a woman who had never had children and I became quite close to her. After my husband died I dated a man seriously for a few years which is when I was last pg, and though he had a rocky relationship with his mother, she and I are still close despite the fact that he barely talks to her anymore. She was the second person I told about my pg and I shared all the details with her that I wish I could have with my own mother! And as she only has one child, she is naturally anxious for grandchildren.

My point is...there are plenty of mothers of daughters who have poor relationships and treat their daughters badly, and those daughters likely crave a healthy mother-daughter relationship which they will seek out with their MILs. I don't consider my mother a mother in any emotional sense. My stepmother and MIL mean so much more to me. And I am all the more thankful to have them in my life bc my biological mother is no longer a part of it.

From getting to know many of the boy moms here, I am convinced you will make wonderful MILs. Your sons will choose their wives wisely because you raised them well.

[sbowman]

It is totally independent of gender. I do not have a great relationship with my MIL because she's a crazy, obstinate, controlling, bitter old woman....she has self diagnosed fibromyalgia and spends most of her days sitting in bed watching reality tv and smoking...and trying to control my life. LOL. Anyway. My husband is very devoted to her though and calls every day. My brother calls my mom at least once a week and lives a lot closer to home than I do. And my husband's grandmother had five sons and two daughters, all of which come visit regularly and for every holiday. So as long as you're not crazy and controlling I'm sure your DIL's will love you.


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[hotdogz&boyz]

Nope. Not true for a second. I think sons are very devoted to their mothers and I think that many, many women really love their MILs and sometimes even have a better relationship with them than their own mothers.

Like Bowman, my MIL is fourteen shades of nuts. It's not that I don't like her because I have my own mother (who I get along very well with), I don't like her because she is petty, spiteful, and controlling. My moms MIL (my dads mom) is the picture of an amazing woman, kind and generous, and loving. And my mom is VERY close to her. In fact, my grandmom (my moms MIL) was present at all three of my moms births (two in the room, one in the waiting room because he was a c-section). My mom chooses to go see her on her days off (I like to go too), independent of my dad. My grandma has three daughters but always says she has four because of my mom. I'm sure if I had a MIL like that, I would be all about her.

I truly think its a personality thing. Some mother-daughters don't get along at all. Some get along famously. Same with some mother-son relationships. My mom is personally very close to me and my youngest brother. We are most like personality-wise. In some ways, I think she is even closer to my youngest brother than me. I'm sure my brother would be the first to jump if she needed care or something. It's just him.

When you get to that point, you'll have so many years of positive relationships you have built with your son, I doubt you'll worry about his wife taking him away. Even as much as my MIL is nuts, I never interfere with her relationship with her son (hubby) and she could never claim I did.

[Frilly Lady]

My mother in law turned to me on Christmas Day with a tear in her eye gave me a big hug and said I wish you were my real daughter, I couldn't have wished for a better mother to my two beautiful grandsons, thank you. Needless to say I had a few tears!

[iluvmy4sons]

One of the main reasons I have GD (I have 3 boys) is the fact that I'm worried about having grown sons vs grown daughters. My own mom keeps going on about how daughters take care of their parents much better than sons do (thanks mom )

Anyway, I was thinking, maybe it could be the other way around: Having a DIL who I treat well of course, will more likely be close to me than a SIL? So if you have a son, you might end up having a devoted son *and* DIL, but if you have a daughter, your SIL might not be as interested as a DIL?

Just a thought, what do you guys think? (All I want is for my children and grandchildren to visit me! )

I am close to my MIL. We actually live on the same lane as her. My kids and us visit her all the time. I live about 2 miles from my mom and we see her way less. I feel closer to her than my mom.

[thehappypixi]

My husband is really close to his mum, so are his two sisters but they have both moved over 200 miles away!
I think the key to being an awesome MIL (and grandmother) is just be really accepting of what mum wants, and be freely available to help without being pushy. It's simple really, what do you want in a MIL?!