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Thread: Fear of gender guilt
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August 13th, 2012, 03:24 PM #1
Fear of gender guilt
I feel like the worst mother ever!! I have been super emotional the last couple days, I really want to know my baby's gneder! It is driving me nuts! I really really want a son, I have 2 amazing daughters & I love them to pieces! I just want a new expereince because this will be our last. We had to go through IVF to get this baby, we have MF infertility. This is my husbands 1st, but he has been my daughters dad for 9 years now, he is awesome with them. My oldest is demanding it be a boy..lol
I just feel so guilty for wanting a son so badly, I will absolutely love a little girl if that's what we have, I love all the cool things they have for girls now, and I know girls!! lol But there is a big part of me that wants a son. I am really scared that I will feel the smallest amount of disappointment if we find out we are having a girl.
I cannot wait to find out so I can just find out we we are having & celebrate it, and if it's our princess I can get used to the idea.
I just feel so gulity for feeling this way!! Can anyone relate?
Please understand I will love this child, male or female so much, we wanted a baby so bad!
My best friend had her son in April & she really rubbed it in, just like she rubbed in when she got pregnant so fast when hubby & I were trying for quite awhile (We ended up having to do IVF with ICSI)! I just feel added pressure cause she knows how bad I want a boy, & she kept saying she wanted a girl but a boy would be cool too...ugh I think I will die if I have a girl just because I know she will rub it in!!
I am probably being an irrational witch, but thats how I feel today anyway...
Thanks ladies! Go team
Here is a pic of my 11w4d u/s..any clues to gender?
http://mob1173.photobucket.com/album...5/IMG_1133.jpgLast edited by Jennyb0125; August 13th, 2012 at 03:28 PM. Reason: added pic
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August 13th, 2012, 03:33 PM #2
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August 13th, 2012, 04:12 PM #3
Thank you so much Fish2012!
Mom of 2 beautiful!! Born in 1997 & 2001.
Happily married to my 2nd husband & expecting his 1st bio child, although he has been a wonderful dad for our girls for 9 years now.
We had to do IVF for MF infertility, & got our BFP after our 1st transfer!
We are hoping for Team!!
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August 13th, 2012, 04:16 PM #4
I completely understand. I have two girls also and I am now currently pregnant with a boy. Before I found out what I was having we were going to go team green, but the weeks went on I was an anxious mess! I was crying for no reason, and getting snippy with people for no reason. The whole not knowing was driving me mad!! I just wanted to know whether it was a boy or a girl and move on with my life and start preparing for a boy or a girl.
I can't tell from your picture, but I wish you the best of luck
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August 24th, 2012, 09:47 PM #5
Thanks so much for the reply dloui 128, I am so glad you are getting your boy, I hope I have your luck! I won't know till Oct 5th!
Mom of 2 beautiful!! Born in 1997 & 2001.
Happily married to my 2nd husband & expecting his 1st bio child, although he has been a wonderful dad for our girls for 9 years now.
We had to do IVF for MF infertility, & got our BFP after our 1st transfer!
We are hoping for Team!!
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August 25th, 2012, 09:39 AM #6Dream Vet
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I completely understand how your feeling (although in reverse) i had such bad gd with ds3 and am so worried it will happen again. Worst part about all of it always seems the not knowing and the getting your hopes up over the time you wait. No-one doubts you'll love your baby what ever happens but it won't stop you feeling sad for what you have lost (your chance at your son) and its ok to feel this way.
Where abouts are you, one of the moms on here from the uk used someone in kent with a really good reputation for gender guessing at 12 - 13 weeks was right for her and something i think we will do. Is this an option for you, won't change the result but might help stop you going crazy.
Do you have a bigger picture of baby you could post in the ultra sound guess, girls are really quite good at it over there and i can't enlarge this pic enough to tell x
I know its easier said than done but don't let other people get you. I had this off my mil and sil when she was pregnant, everyone was convinced it was girl, the first in the family and how exciting it would be. My son was ignored and pushed aside, then she ended up with a boy to. I think some people don't realise how hurtful things are and how horrible gd is, some just don't care but they make things much worse either way so try to avoid her if you can (or if she's a close enough friend explain to her how she makes you feel)
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August 26th, 2012, 09:05 PM #7
Mrs. P Thanks so much for the reply! I live in Canada, so no hope of seeing that lady
I guess I will have to wait until Oct 5th when I get the anatomy/gender scan done. I am really crossing my fingers for a boy but what will be will be I suppose. I just can't wait till I know either way! lol
I will try to find teh u/s group & see what they think. Thanks!
I hope this pic is better & bigger.
Mom of 2 beautiful!! Born in 1997 & 2001.
Happily married to my 2nd husband & expecting his 1st bio child, although he has been a wonderful dad for our girls for 9 years now.
We had to do IVF for MF infertility, & got our BFP after our 1st transfer!
We are hoping for Team!!
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September 2nd, 2012, 05:26 AM #8Dream User
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hiya hun, i feel completely the same (reverse way as i am desperate for a girl!!) i really hope you get your little boy, im sorry im not very good at nub spotting but some of the lovely ladies on here are, good luck hun xxxxxxx
Mummy to 3 gorgeous boysand three gorgeous stepchildren
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Havin vas reversal 2015 dreaming2015
hoping for our little pink princess ttc 2016
super strong swimmer vibeys needed
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October 21st, 2012, 09:04 PM #9
I just wanted to let you ladies know we found out at our 18 week U/S we are getting our SON!! We are so over the moon!!
Mom of 2 beautiful!! Born in 1997 & 2001.
Happily married to my 2nd husband & expecting his 1st bio child, although he has been a wonderful dad for our girls for 9 years now.
We had to do IVF for MF infertility, & got our BFP after our 1st transfer!
We are hoping for Team!!
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October 21st, 2012, 09:18 PM #10
Congratulations!!!!! Very happy for you. Enjoy your little man.
12.24.084.13.10
third and last. It is nice being queen of my castle but would love to add a princess.
My Ovulation Chart || Ovulation Tracker
After 12 months ttc, taking a little sanity break. Fx to all of the dear ladies on here in the meantime.
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can this baby be a boy ?