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July 28th, 2013, 04:01 PM #11Dream Vet
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this was something that i always wondered and i wish i could say its no different as that would make it so much easier for all those still yet to get their dg. The reality is that my daughter is no different, she is a baby just like my sons were and she is loved just as much, no more, no less but its me that has changed. I had severe gd and really struggled to wrap my head around the fact that i may never have the one thing i desired so much. When i heard its a girl i was crying so much i could barely tell my hubby, my cvs and 5 scans later i still struggled to believe it. A lot of my gd had left before she was born but what little remained disappeared, i feel complete now. I still find it hard to admit to i won't have any more babies but the reality is i don't need or want to try again - i have the family i always wanted.
All the problems we had before are still there and my desire for a better job and a bigger house etc hasn't gone, she hasn't magically fixed anything but it all seems to matter less now somehow. Whilst i love the dresses and pink things and am embracing my girly side its also made me appreciate my boys more to. I love watching them with their sister, how gentle and loving they are towards her. Getting rid of the sadness has made me a better mother as now i am no longer filled with that void.
I do with agree with the other poster though i am so scared i am going to loose her or one of her brothers and i don't think that feeling will disappear anytime soon but as hard work as 4 kids are i am loving every minute with my family and i really hope everyone on here gets to experience that
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July 28th, 2013, 11:15 PM #12Dream Vet
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Thanks so much Mrs P, I had been waiting on this thread for an answer like yours. Congrats on your baby girl
DPs sons 21 +13 11 + our 6 4 year old identical twins!
I might actually be over my deep yearning for a and it's an exciting feeling
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July 29th, 2013, 12:34 AM #13
My little girl is only 10 days old. My family does feel complete now. I just have the same worries as some of the others. I am worried something will happen to her or even my boys. I do wish like the others everyone can experience that.
Mom of and born July 18th 2013.
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July 31st, 2013, 11:22 AM #14Swaying Advice Coach
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I was never one who bought into the "I feel complete" idea but it is pretty great to have her. I still have all the problems that I always have had and then some but there is def. a burden that has been lifted away. I really just always felt like she was supposed to be here and it was haunting me. I felt like there was a little girl in danger floating around that needed me and that feeling is gone.
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July 31st, 2013, 11:22 AM #15Swaying Advice Coach
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also do worry all the time something will happen to her
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August 1st, 2013, 01:15 AM #16Dream Vet
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Our daughter has brought enormous joy, relief and gratitude to our family. It's like Christmas every day. Our three sons adore her, and we would have never known this sweet, caring side of them. (They are nice to each other, but nothing like the way they treat her.) I so appreciate that my husband agreed to "let me" have another child, so our marriage is better. It helps that she is a very easy baby.
Now that she is six months old, I am finally starting to believe she is here to stay, not just a fleeting dream. So yes, I agree with the prior posters that your level of happiness has more to do with you than with your child. But I also answer the OP honestly by saying that she is everything we hoped for and more.9 7 4
3 IVF/PGDs in 2011... no transfer.
Surprise natural pregnancy May 2012.
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August 1st, 2013, 09:02 AM #17
When I was growing up I had 5 siblings but it always felt like someone was missing. My mom had my OOPS! sister when she was 43 yrs old. My sister is 15 years younger than me.
I have that same "someone's missing" feeling these days. I truly believe we are meant to have one more child. I really want it to be a boy so I feel that the 'missing' child is a boy, but I think I'll be fine if its a girl because that is a real possibility.
My Gender Dreaming
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August 1st, 2013, 09:20 AM #18
Before I had any children, or even a boyfriend, I dreamed in detail about my first son. He was a toddler bending down to hug me. I remembered the smell of his hair and softness of his skin. When I fell pregnant for the first time I knew be was coming.
After I had my third son, I dreamt of Daisy. I gave birth and I looked at the baby and it was a little girl. My little girl.
I'm like atomic, I don't just want a girl, I want the girl from my dreams. I feel she is waiting for me. Like its destined. I would find it very hard to give up the idea of her and not keep trying to get her. Hubby says we can have five, I reckon it could go to six, so I have two more shots max after this. If none of them are a girl I will be one of those who finds contentment elsewhere.
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August 1st, 2013, 03:30 PM #19Dreamer
I totally agree with Mrs. P. I wish I could tell you that it didn't matter (for the sake of anyone suffering from gd), but the truth is, I feel like the luckiest person alive now that I have a baby girl. Aside from the pink outfits, she's really no different than the boys were. But I am. I'm at peace for the first time in a long time. My husband "accuses" me of being so happy! ha ha! Now, I will say this. My boys are a little older (the youngest is nearly five), so I'm not frantic with a toddler. I don't have two in diapers. And most of all, I waited SO long for this that I REALLY appreciate all of it. Having a girl, the fleetingness of having a newborn, and that if I didn't have gd, I wouldn't have all four of my children (would definitely have stopped at three). So I can look at my third son and see him as a gift, too. If I had had a girl on my first, second, or third try, I don't think I would appreciate what I had nearly as much. I definitely wouldn't have been as compassionate to those suffering from gd. Also, I had the gift (and burden?) of time. Another baby, even the one you desired so much, isn't going to fix other issues. I really had to learn to separate gd from the rest.
I truly hope that you all get your desired gender, but that if you don't, you can find peace. We took a HUGE gamble. If we had had a fourth boy, I would also have pasted a smile on my face and in time come to accept my family make-up. What made me 'go for it' was that I saw so many of my friends have that last child, what seemed to me, that gamble, and it paid off for so many of them. I have no idea if they really had gd, tho in my mind everyone does - ha ha. But I couldn't shake the idea of trying one more time. It really was the last ditch effort. I couldn't be happier that we did, though I went into the whole thing with my eyes wide open and praying for acceptance if it didn't go our way. I also feel that this was the biggest difference this time. Instead of praying for a girl, I prayed for acceptance. I'm not a deeply religious person, but maybe, just maybe, this helped answer my prayers.200320052008:2013
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August 1st, 2013, 09:32 PM #20
A girl I used to be friends has 3 sons and had obvious GD with her last baby. Despite this her DH had a vasectomy while she was pregnant (3 oops babies) which was probably a completely logical decision from a financial and social point of view.
While I was recently pregnant she came up to me and started talking about how she and her husband would have made beautiful girls and I felt really sad for her that she was obviously not over her GD but almost 6 years later, their option of trying again has been taken away (or made much harder)
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