I hope this doesn't sound bad, I really do not mean to offend or upset. I have two Dd's and am expecting my third girl. I have experienced a fair bit of GD when I discovered that I will never get my boy. On the flip side, if I had two sons and were in a position where I was expecting my third son then I can honestly say that I would be heartbroken. We can't help the way we feel. Mrs P, please don't be hard on yourself, it is okay to have these feelings. It's just one of those things that so many people dare not speak about in RL for fear of being judged. You sound like you have a lot on your plate at the moment, please be kind to yourself. I really do hope that things go well for you.