DH's age and deciding between FR or abstain.

[wantingababygirl]

Hello again everyone! So I'm wondering if DH's age is a factor in whether to do FR or abstaining for a pink sway. I ask because DH is 38, and I was planning on having him abstain for at least a week before our attempt, but I read somewhere that this may not be recommended if dh is older. Our boys (7 yo and 11 yo) were each conceived after FR, but dh was only 26 and 30 at the time, so considerably younger. So would it still make sense to do the opposite of what we did to get our boys, or considering DH's age, would FR actually give us a better chance for a girl? Thank you all for your help.

[Throwaway_panther]

I've asked a similar question for conceiving a boy. I know FR EVERY day is more girl friendly, but DTD every 4 days still seems like a safe bet for you?

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[atomic sagebrush]

Neither abstain nor FR has gotten good results. While still better than 50-50, they are both significantly lower than the overall success rates of the site.

I would not ever advise a 38 year old guy to do abstain.

Re doing the opposite - it NEVER comes down to one thing like that. A lot of the time people feel like they have to "do the opposite" only to end up doing things that may be even MORE blue friendly than they were to start with. Additionally, unless you had DH do 7-10 releases OUTSIDE or with protection, (meaning, for 7-10 consecutive days) before doing one and only one attempt inside, then you didn't even do FR anyway. There is a lot of misinterpretation of what FR is.

What I would recommend in this situation is to either do FR again with one and only one attempt, OR have DH release on his own, or with you, with a condom, every 2-4 days with one and only one attempt, to start with. THen if you guys do not get pregnant you can consider every 4 day method. I prefer people try with one attempt first before going straight into e4d in most cases.

[atomic sagebrush]

I've asked a similar question for conceiving a boy. I know FR EVERY day is more girl friendly, but DTD every 4 days still seems like a safe bet for you?

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For blue, age doesn't matter if he can manage it. It's always DTD unprotected or have hubs release every 2-4 days, then 3-5 attempts in fertile window if you can.

THe only caveat for blue swayers is hubbies that cannot DTD that much. Then, you have to be cautious not to have him run out of steam by starting attempts too early so then there's nothing left when the fertile window opens, if that makes sense. Not because of timing, since that doesn't work, but because of the number of attempts. IF a hubby attempts on O-3 for example and then can't complete the transaction again til the day after O, that's gonna be one attempt!

[wantingababygirl]

Neither abstain nor FR has gotten good results. While still better than 50-50, they are both significantly lower than the overall success rates of the site.

I would not ever advise a 38 year old guy to do abstain.

Re doing the opposite - it NEVER comes down to one thing like that. A lot of the time people feel like they have to "do the opposite" only to end up doing things that may be even MORE blue friendly than they were to start with. Additionally, unless you had DH do 7-10 releases OUTSIDE or with protection, (meaning, for 7-10 consecutive days) before doing one and only one attempt inside, then you didn't even do FR anyway. There is a lot of misinterpretation of what FR is.

What I would recommend in this situation is to either do FR again with one and only one attempt, OR have DH release on his own, or with you, with a condom, every 2-4 days with one and only one attempt, to start with. THen if you guys do not get pregnant you can consider every 4 day method. I prefer people try with one attempt first before going straight into e4d in most cases.

Thank you for that info Atomic Sagebrush! Especially about the FR. So what you're saying is that it doesn't actually count as FR if the FR is us having unprotected sex every time, but rather it should be say, him pleasuring himself everyday and then us doing ONE attempt?

I was actually worried about trying to do the 7+ day abstain 1) because of DH's age and 2) because DH is a habitual masturbator. So I was really going to have a hard time convincing him to abstain (from sex or pleasuring himself) for a week or more.

So because of his age, we should try FR (him pleasuring himself) for say, a few days in a row, and then do one (and only one) attempt?

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes exactly. What you are describing is NOT FR, it's frequent BD. If it isn't done with 7-10 releases before any unprotected attempt that might possibly get you pregnant then it isn't FR.

FR has to be 7-10 days before any (and preferably one) attempt that is unprotected and can get you pregnant.