Shocked with myself...

[iluvmy4sons]

HUGS! I felt that way with DS4 and he was supposed to be my last baby. We decided to try one more time and I really thought I would hear boy. It will get better.

[BZ94]

I'm going to echo everyone here and say I completely understand how you are feeling. FYI my depression was actually much worse with DS2 than with DS3 who I'm currently expecting. With DS2 I was worried I wouldn't bond with him, and that I couldn't possibly love another BOY the way I loved DS1. Well, DS2 is the BEST! I fell in love instantly in the hospital (something that didn't happen with DS1 for a while because he was colicky and I was a first time panicky mom) and he continues to amaze me. That has helped me accept DS3 - knowing I will undoubtedly feel the same when I meet him. I still have to mourn the DD I will never have and I am definitely nervous about a life FULL of boys (never pictured myself an all-boy mom), but know that once he's here our family will be complete, even if its not the family DH and I pictured.

It WILL get better! And at least your DH is on board for swaying with #3. Mine wasn't, and wouldn't take supps or do frequent release/abstain, but then was disappointed that DS3 wasn't a girl. ARGHHH - so frustrating

[Fae]

I would prefer to go the IVF guaranteed route next time but I really don't think he'd go for that. I know he would think it was wrong. Doesn't mean I may not still try and talk him into it

On a whole I feel a little better its still really up and down. You nailed it though. I never saw myself with boys with DS 1 I bonded immediately but that's exactly how I feel like there is no way I will be able to love another boy the same. It was a fear even before I knew what it was that I'd never love another child as much but now that its another boy that fear is way worse :/

[Adia]

As hard as this may be to process right now, I can promise you that once you have your new baby it will be that much easier to separate your love for your DS2 and your longing for a DD.

They are two very distinct things and its only a matter of time before you and DH are able to clearly feel both emotions but not hold one set of emotions against the other.

Hope that makes sense...it what I went through with DD3. Wouldn't trade that monkey for the world, but once I had her I still longed deeply for a boy....

Hang in there honey, so many of us understand the despair and grief that can swallow a pregnancy once you find out you are not having your DG. You still have a lot to look forward to.

[Fae]

Thank you that made me cry it does feel like grief has swallowed my pregnancy. DH seems totally over it which is great I'm glad for him I wish I was too. And while I know thats a good thing I feel more alone now. Today is much worse than yesterday I guess that's how it goes..

[Fae]

It doesn't help that I can tell that friends and family aren't nearly as excited for me now. When they heard the gender I mostly got sad sighs. Wow 2 boys you'll go crazy all those comments

[ocean]

Fae - We're quite similar I think. I never imagined myself with boys either. I (and my mother for that matter) come from families of only girls, and it wasn't until DS1 that I discovered I hadn't even conceived of being pregnant with a boy! Now I've had 2 boys, who I love dearly, but the surreal nature of it still hits me sometimes.

I'm now nearly sure I want to try IVF/PGD for a 3rd, a girl, even though until DS2 I had only wanted 2 kids. I work FT and would continue to do so so this isn't a decision I'd take lightly.

One difference between us - I was team green, so heard no disappointed sighs. No one (acts) disappointed when the baby's a reality! Even if I hadn't been team green, I would've told the random askers that I was...I don't deserve even a second of pain from people who don't matter at all to me.

[Adia]

Thank you that made me cry it does feel like grief has swallowed my pregnancy. DH seems totally over it which is great I'm glad for him I wish I was too. And while I know thats a good thing I feel more alone now. Today is much worse than yesterday I guess that's how it goes..

My DH was crushed too when we found out DD3 was another girl but he got over it really quick too. They just process things differently and move on faster than we do AND the big reality is they don't have a baby inside of them either!!!!

Hang in there, I PROMISE it will get easier in time. Just think about all of us who have been exactly where you are at and we are here to testify that it is all going to be ok.

Plan our your responses to people and tell yourself that all will be ok and soon enough it will be...fake it until you make it!!!

Big hugs for your hurting heart!!!

[Fae]

Feeling better for the most part. This site really helps. I still have fears and stabs of disappointment. But there are hints of excitement here and there.

DH is never going to go for HT. I will research and try swaying when the time is right. Distracting myself from thinking about how I SHOULD feel is the hard part. I know logically once he is in my arms the rest will away and into place. All this fear and worry is so annoying I wish I could force it away.

I appreciate all the understanding words I think I would be in a darker place had I not found a safe place to talk about this!

[Fae]

I thought shopping would really help going out and buying cute clothes. Nope I can't stand seeing girl clothes makes my stomach drop. Some of this has to applified by hormones I feel insane :/