this whole swaying thing...!

[lindi]

Sometimes I think 100% what I'm doing is going to work, and then sometimes I think what I'm doing is some crazy science project on my body that is going to mess everything up... its exciting and interesting, but I get very nervous thinking about a month from now when we'll be about to ttc... have I screwed up my fertility? Are the the odds going to go in my favor or is this just going to be a lousy diet, a cupboard full of random supplements, lavender everything, and bad sex? At the very least I'm VERY thin now which my DH loves, and I've learned quite a bit, right? Anyone else nervous about this whole thing? I mean, if I'm crazy enough to expend all this time learning and doing, maybe we should just go HT? Sorry for the rambling. This is nerve wracking!

[babydust]

I 100% believe in swaying, but remember, swaying is just that...leaning % towards a certain gender, there are no guarantees. I've seen near PERFECT sways that resulted in boys and non sways result in girls. BUT I've seen the stats and those that do a good sway are waaaay more likely to get the gender of their dreams than those who don't. I would just give it your all and leave the rest up to God. Remember, when swaying for a girl you want as little stress as possible. So do your research, get your plan together, then implement it without having to worry about anything. Set yourself up so that all you have to do is go through the motions and sway. It makes things a lot easier. If you ever feel that you won't be ok with an "opposite" or that you really don't want just another child, you want another girl only, then maybe you can look into PGD, that is if you have the money for it. If you still choose to sway (which I think is a great option), then you have to be in the mindset to do whatever is in your power to do, and then relax. (easier said then done I know!! haha). But if you can do that, you are in a win win situation. And also, if you do a really good sway, I personally believe your chances of conceiving your preferred gender is 75-80%, which is much better than 50/50!

[lindi]

Babydust thank you. The money wouldn't be a problem for HT, but I think I would want it to be a secret and I HATE secrecy and keeping things from my family, and DH's family, and even tho I live in S. California, there are some logistical problems with HT. Plus my DH I pretty much know wants a girl but won't say so out loud because he doesn't want to live setting himself up for disappointment. That's his personality. He is VERY positive, and I love that in him. I guess I do in a very small way struggle with the whole idea of a second child a bit, too... but just in the darkest bits of the night. The other 95% of me is so excited to TTC. The love I have for my son is just so tremendous I can't wait to have more of that in my life, and to take on the amazing work of being a mother to someone else. It would be easier to have the little bit of me that's nervous to give up what shred of free time I have now for the hard work of taking care of a baby plus toddler if I knew that I would be experiencing being a mom to a girl, too. Every relative on my side of the family is a mixed family- boys AND girls. I always imagined that when I saw myself as a mom. I thought it would be cinch to have my next be a girl- I believed TCOYF when it said have sex on thus and such a day, and then finding all of this stuff on the web -- and seeing how my body is most liekly geared towards boys-it's a lot to sign up for. A lot to commit to. It might even be making the dream bigger than it was in the first place, kwim? Honestly, if I had another healthy son I would be ecstatic too... This whole thing just seems like a lot today. Thank you!

[nuthinbutpink]

I think that that swaying and HT require some luck! I think the number of children you have and want to have when you are done makes a big difference IF HT is ever an option for you. Some people will never be okay with HT and that is totally understandable. I wanted 3 kids when I got married. If I had known about swaying, I would have definitely given it a try with number 2. If I had known about HT with number 3, I might have gone HT and I am so glad I did not know about it because I would not have DD3 in my life and I cannot imagine my life without her in it. She's a trip. Now, with number 4, first I had never planned on number 4, and if there was ever going to be a number 4, it was going to be a boy. That is the point I was at though- a boy or no baby. I was able to admit that to myself and it determined my fate.

So, I think your tolerance for what happens next determines where you go from here. HT is a guarantee of gender but there is no guarantee of a baby. You can always decide to sway after HT if you need to. But make no mistake about it, HT is an extreme measure. I think just deciding to have another baby is extreme though so it wasn't that big of a leap to go HT for me!

I wish I had had a chance to give swaying a try but then my life might have taken another direction and at this point, I wouldn't change a thing. Sometimes we just have to roll with it! Good luck!

[babydust]

I completely understand what your saying, just take it day by day and you'll know what is right for you

[atomic sagebrush]

lindi, I completely understand.

One thing I do want to throw out there is, if you have the means and think maybe in the back of your mind that if swaying doesn't work you'll go high tech, stop swaying right now and just go HT ASAP. I believe you mentioned you are 35, well HT has a lot less chance of working, the older you get. Swaying will still be here if it doesn't work out.

Personally HT isn't for me for a lot of reasons but if it's something that you are ok with financially and spiritually, it's best to do it at a younger age rather than an older one.

[Orchid]

I would have loved to try swaying if I could. But I really want my second pregnancy to be the last one. I dont think I have the patience(nor time, I am 32) to have a boy next, get that baby to a toddler stage(I believe in breastfeeding) and then plan HT. And ofcourse HT means twins is a possibility = 4 children; DH will have a heart attack (lol). So many factors. Ofcourse I might end up swaying if HT doesnt work for us. But there will be no HT after that if that one turns out to be a boy. It will be over.

Wish I did not want a girl so bad, life would have been so much simpler.

[lindi]

I would be fine with HT, but the main thing is I travel a lot for work, and so I cannot guarantee I would be in california on the right dates. I couldn't take the time off either.

[lindi]

I would have loved to try swaying if I could. But I really want my second pregnancy to be the last one. I dont think I have the patience(nor time, I am 32) to have a boy next, get that baby to a toddler stage(I believe in breastfeeding) and then plan HT. And ofcourse HT means twins is a possibility = 4 children; DH will have a heart attack (lol). So many factors. Ofcourse I might end up swaying if HT doesnt work for us. But there will be no HT after that if that one turns out to be a boy. It will be over.

Wish I did not want a girl so bad, life would have been so much simpler.

I feel sort of in the same place- but I have to say ladies, I am the youngest of my friends with a child. When I was 33 and had my son, people thought we were babies having babies. Almost everyone I know is having babies at 38+. Some natural, some IVF. But whatever the case it's working- nobody is childless. My SIL just got pg at 40 on one natural attempt. I know I would have to do an ovarian reserve to really say this, but my OB said from my history, from my exam last month, I have the body of a 25 year old so its really just the luck of how good the egg is that pops out each month. I don't feel a huge time pressure. Both clomid and HT would increase risk of twins and DH and I want ONE more period. I know how you feel.

[atomic sagebrush]

I'm glad it's working for everyone! I got pg very easily at 38+ also but unfortunately not everyone has been as lucky as us so I feel like I have to throw the "bio clock disclaimer" out there - forewarned is forearmed!!